Lobo Lobo and the blue wave

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Lobo Lobo came over - he was painted fully blue… head to toe. His face, his arms, everything - he had a bandana and his clothes were all blue. He was carrying a blue paint can. "Lobo Lobo, why are you all blue-d up… you look like a character out of James Cameron's Avatar."

"See Dikuna men, I don't know of you are following de politics of de USA… but dat blinking Trump-Chump is getting totally roasted and trashed in dese wouchyucall mid-term elections."

"Yes," I said, "I have been following America's politics."

"So you must be aware dat de Democrats have a dat blue (pronounced ‘bleue') colour wheres de udder part dat Trumps Republicks, det are symbolised by red. Last week, dere was a blue wave."

"That's all very well Lobo Lobo. Are you all blued up for a sense of solidarity with the Democrats?"

"Yes men, I am for de parties in all de countries dat are against de ruling party or president, who is dat dictator type…"

"But in our country…"

"See Dikuna men, let me tell you, my larger concern is in my own building in Virar, we are a very big co-operative housing society... we are de Shastrabudde Dhurandhar Cooperative Housing Society, wid dat 300 flats…

That is a big building we're have elections in two years, so we also have a mid-term elections… leading up to the big one, every five years."

"Right so, but it still doesn't tell me why you all coloured in blue?"

"So see men, I am de chairman at de moment, and de Hionorary Secretree is Chunilalal Champaklala Chewdalal Chinoy. He is a bully type, like dat fellow Trump, can you believe he wears a wig men. And he keeps changing de colour… all dese last two years it was yellow like. Now for dese mid-term elections he wants to make it red colour…"

‘So how is he a bully?" I asked, "and also tell me about the blue - why you in blue?"

"See men, I'm like a combo of Braveheart and de democrats, I want to rally my building to fight for justice, arrey we cannot give into building politics. Dat fellow tinks like Trump, dey way he invaded Iran, Chewdala just de udder day invaded into tree of de neighbouring buildings and tolded dem, to agree to redevelopment or else. Den last week only, dere is one udder fellow who is standing for chairmanship. Arrey how de buggers just swooped in and kidnapped de bugger. Arrey, his hoodlums just swooped in and took de fallow, like Trump had na jest choppred his way into Venzooella - arrey if we are not careful... men, he is also a builder, he will just ‘kabzao' de building and make it into some shopping mall. Arrey, we have dis lovely football ground attached to our building, it is named after one our side freedom fighter from Vasai only, his name was Socrates Sacramento Soledada, he was a fan of de great Pele, so he built a large football ground for kids and assisting footballers to come up, men. And now dis blighter wants to take over de ground called Sacramento Brothers football ground and make it into some blasted convention centre. Arrey, who want anudder convention centre, men chhe…"
Lobo Lobo stopped for a breath.

"But Lobo Lobo, it still doesn't tell me, why you are carrying around a can of paint and paint brush."

"See men, deep in my heart, I tell you one truth, at my heart I am a protester I will not sit still and let injustice happen men, and dis bugger is trying to do Mumbai ‘jugaad', he is trying to ‘latkao' his influence. ‘I know dis MLA and I know dat counciller', he keeps trowing in my face."

"Can you get to the point, the can of blue paint!"

"Okay, so I made one plan. Everyting in my life has to become blue, as a show of rebellion and independence, so I painted myself blue and all my clodes and I decided I would also paint my building blue, so all near and wide would know who we really are. We will not take anyting lying down," Lobo Lobo concluded.

Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, filmmaker and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com