My best wishes for you, you, and you

Much of our time goes into sharing stories of what doesn’t work rather than what could be done to fix it. Life would be very different if solutions obsessed us as much as problems do. Pic/Shutterstock

My humble opinions end with this, the 412th edition of IMHO. For those of you who are too old to know and too shy to ask, the acronym stands for In My Humble Opinion. For the last seven years and 48 weeks, this column has dictated how my week begins.

Having a virtually unlimited giant canvas where I can write about anything is a bit like a child being left alone in a room full of toys. Over time, however, I inferred that there were some exceptions to this. I should not be too critical (too loudly) about the government or its favourite religion; never directly criticise people whose names begin with A or M; and not say bad things about potential advertisers.

I also learned that by using humour, irony, and sarcasm, I could breach all three taboos and get away with it. I learned, with delight more than disappointment, that most powerful, self-important Indians lose their sense of humour, and with it, the ability to understand subtlety and irony.

The need for a fresh topic each time changed my week. I became more attentive to conversations, noticed more details of my environment, observed people and their behaviours more closely, read more books and articles, bookmarked more things, and asked more questions.

Let's talk about Bombai. Click the QR code above to join my WhatsApp group to share your Bombai stories for my book - and perhaps answer some of my Bombai questions

In the back of my mind, I have always known that one day this column's topic would be about saying goodbye, but I always shied away from thinking about that. Humans like to believe that good things never end, until they do.

Today, that is the topic before me.

A reader called Fatema Shamsi gently chided me a month ago, writing, "Since a while now, your writing has become decidedly morose and you have been pointing out all the flaws of our country (without your humour to offer some hope). Looks like Bombay has got you by your throat. Time for a long holiday." This is what the best readers do; they hold up a mirror and show you who you are.

Fatema was right about everything: I feel profoundly let down by my country and its evolving personality. I see daily life distorted by nationalism, bigotry, a me-first-and-me-only attitude, corruption, intolerance, hubris, and road rage. TikTok and Instagram are full of reels where these issues are regularly bemoaned, with live videos and commentaries about the values we seem to be losing. When I discover humility, kindness, concern, and honesty, it's only in small pockets, not in the public square.

Fatema's letter reminded me that the best weapon we have in such times is humour, because anything else could bring the Enforcement Directorate to your door. In that spirit, I combed through 411 columns and pulled out some nuggets that I would like to leave with you, lightened with just a sprinkling of levity, before I go.

1. You are not alone. Apart from you, there is the one you loudly disagree with and often despise, and the other whose opinion and feelings do not count, in your humble opinion. Our lives are splintered by these three people. If you, you, and you could drink a cup of tea together at an Irani shop one day and find a few things to chuckle about together, we'd all be the better for it.

2. To improve kal, you have to forget kal. Remind yourself that our national language has a serious lapse. It has only one word - kal - for yesterday and tomorrow. As a result, we routinely mistake the past for the future, such as speaking of the 5000-year-old Harappan civilisation - with planned cities, drainage and plumbing, long-distance trade, and a written language - as though it's still around. Mumbai is not a planned city, and our drainage and plumbing mostly sucks. How great we once were does not tell us whether we are still great or how great we might be tomorrow. I hereby propose replacing kal (the future) with a new word. Like chal.

3. Stop admiring the problem. This column's readers have shown me that admiring our problems is what we do best. Even in our vibrant WhatsApp group of concerned IMHO readers (see the QR code on this page), much time goes into sharing stories of what doesn't work rather than what could be done to fix it. Life would be very different if solutions obsessed us as much as problems do.

4. Pay attention to the quiet ones. Researching my book on Bombay has shown me that those who are busy solving problems don't have time to squander on chat groups. They are the quiet ones, interested in action, who understand how heated words kill hope. There are many more of those than you'd suspect, and they are changing our world.

5. Assume good faith: Wikipedia, the world's most trusted information source today, is a collaboration of thousands of voluntary contributors and editors who assume that when someone maligns someone or writes nonsense, they just didn't know the Wikipedia rules. Assuming good faith and believing the best of others might actually be the secret formula we've all been waiting for.

Meanwhile, following Fatema's suggestion, I will go on a long holiday. Like some other expired mid-day columnists, I hope to be active on Substack soon. If you want to be notified, please send me your email.

With those words, goodbye.

You can reach C Y Gopinath at cygopi@gmail.com
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The views expressed in this column are the individual's and don't represent those of the paper.