The fear of flying

Imaging/Aparna Chaudhari

On June 12 when the Dreamliner crashed at Ahmedabad, it seemed like it was the straw that broke the camel's back. With tragedy becoming a part of our lives, what with the Ukraine war and the Gaza assault, senseless deaths had until then been on our phone screens or television channels.

Lately, however, it feels as if a dark cloud has been hanging over Mumbaikars. With four deaths on the railway line near Mumbra on June 9, the city was still recovering from the Bengaluru stampede that took place on June 4; before we could catch our breath, the helicopter crashed at Kedarnath on June 15 and the Pune bridge collapse tragedy unfolded on June 16.

Dinner tables, drinks with friends, office conversations, and even dates have had a sense of despondency. It seems most have stopped planning to go anywhere - catching a flight, travelling by train, a quick family getaway to Lonavala - all plans remain suspended. We speak to people from across the country who are finding it harder than usual to move forward and are finding their own coping mechanisms.

No option but to go off Instagram
Neelam Sharma, Book influencer, Powai

Neelam Sharma lost her mother in January this year, and when the Ahmedabad crash happened, she had already been off social media to some extent. "I have been very careful about how much I am consuming. I kept seeing obituaries of people being posted on Facebook and the war in Gaza on Instagram, and I realised that I was not able to take it. Even when the crash in Ahmedabad happened, a lot of people wanted to talk to me about it but I just told them that I wasn't in the head space to speak about it. I have to cut it off," says Sharma.

Sharma had a physical reaction to the wave of information and tells us she almost felt "nauseous" with the visuals on social media after the plane crash. "This crash makes me feel as if some tragedy occurs every 15 days," adds the Powai resident.

The 39-year-old believes that she can disconnect because social media and the Internet did not exist during her childhood. "I think I deal better with it, but I feel the younger generation is becoming desensitised to it and sometimes have a problem in understanding where to draw boundaries". Now, Sharma has thrown herself into building a website for her work, using this to stay focused. "I had to learn this anyway and I felt it would allow me to refocus on my career and not let me get emotionally drained," she added.

Sharma says that the late Captain Sumeet Sabharwal, who was manning the Ahmedabad plane, was a resident of Powai and many of her family and friends attended the funeral near Jalvayu Vihar. "My friends were telling me about how his father was at the funeral, but I told them I didn't want to know," she adds. Sometimes, self-preservation is cutting off.

‘Crew is under major pressure'

A pilot with over three decades of experience spoke to Sunday mid-day off the record, and let us in on what the mental state of most pilots as well as cabin crew is right now. "It has affected each and every one of us in some way or another. Even the greatest of pilots are saying they are not comfortable flying. Many who are getting to fly the plane often say something off the cuff such as - they don't know what to expect," they say.

With regard to getting mental health help, they say, "We as pilots and cabin crew are speaking to each other, but no one is speaking up openly or asking for help, despite the fact that peer groups are in place in all airlines. This is so because it will go down in their records and affect their career forever. So, real thick friends are keeping a watch on each other. And at the end of the day everyone needs a job," they add.

The pilot confirms anonymous accounts of other pilots who attest to the Dreamliner's impeccable record. Do they think this will affect people from joining the industry, or lead anyone to quit? They say it might not be so, "The number of pilots is regulated by the industry more than anything. When there was a lack of pilots, companies opened training schools and ensured enough supply of them and neither have I heard about anyone quitting but I think the cabin crew might see more quits because the pilots will have the technical know-how to find closure once the inquiry reaches its end. While the cabin will not be able to understand whatever comes from the inquiry say if it finds a problem in the plane, or a pilot error - as a pilot at least we will be able to make some sense of this tragic event. But, I fear that the cabin crew might not and given that they are also under tremendous pressure, there might be more exits there," they add. Finally they also admit that not only the ones in the air but even ground crew at each airport are under tremendous pressure with each flight.

‘Rage can't burn us out'
Riddhi Chatterjee Content marketer, Kolkata

Kolkata has been in the middle of one of the biggest and conversations around the safety of working women, 10 months after the R G Kar rape-murder case. Riddhi Chatterjee, a 27-year-old, feels that the city is still recovering from the tragedy. "We might not speak about it openly in general but free-flowing conversations continue happening among friends," she says.

Riddhi Chatterjee

The content marketeer finds an outlet through her friends, "We have been talking about everyone expecting us to pretend that the world is not burning on repeat. The overarching feeling is that we are expected to go back to our laptops and keep working as if nothing has happened. I was reading and trying to make sense of things when I came across the phenomenon of hypernormalisation, where the most catastrophic incidents are normalised, and that is leading to a lot of anxiety and depression," she adds recalling how after the R G Kar rape-murder, she could do little to no work.

Chatterjee vocalises an existential crisis. "It's a constant feeling of hopelessness. Somehow, I feel that such severe tragedies weren't so frequent, and it's leading many of us to ask existential questions. Every day it gets worse, ‘What am I doing? How does it even matter?' and there is no resolution to it," she says. The fatigue of standing up for one's rights is setting in. "We are tired of raising our voice, asking for better, but there is no real accountability," she adds.

About her coping mechanism, Chatterjee has stuck with therapeutic conversations with friends. "It feels like it's a privilege to pull myself away from the news and what's happening online, but I also understand that at the end of the day, if I want to stay sane, the rage can't burn me out. After the initial rage has passed, I don't stay away from the news or social media but I talk to people and try to process things," she says. Sometimes, she says, she gets thrown off balance - as with the recent video of the funeral of Clive Kunder, the co-pilot in the crash. "I broke down when I saw the funeral, then picked myself up and thought ‘stay sane and keep working'. It's fine to be sensitive and you can't always be calm about tragedies that we see. I also don't judge people who have cut themselves off from social media - whatever helps people," she adds.

Chatterjee relates what a cousin shared recently, "She said that she wants to wrap her family up in a protective bubble and keep them there, " says Chatterjee. Families in bubble wrap... doesn't sound too far-fetched for these times.

‘Count your blessing every night'
Rajeshwari Singh, Tarot card reader

When people come to me after incidents like this, they are ridden with anxiety, especially if they have lost someone close to them . I first calm them down, balance their emotions. This could take a few sittings. We focus a lot on acceptance. Acceptance doesn't mean you're okay with what happened - it just means you acknowledge it, stop fighting it internally. Only after that can healing begin. Many of my clients have lost close companions, people they spoke to daily. Suddenly, those routines are gone. We help them find new ways to reconnect with life - through hobbies, reading, even simple things like walking or listening to music.

Rajeshwari Singh

I have clients who haven't lost anyone but are just shocked by these tragedies. There is a sense of kabhi bhi kuch bhi ho sakta hai (Anything can happen at any time). I think in the name of humanity, we all belong to each other. So, we all have a sense of fear. I tell people count their blessings every night before you they sleep. The universe has your back. In such situations, if there is any guilt, pain, or anger with any person, one must take the time to resolve it. Letting go is very important; apologise if you have to, but mend your relationships.

What people get wrong is that tarot is a predicting tool. We can't tell you what the future is. The cards are just a guiding tool. They can support, inspire, and motivate. But you can't tell what will happen. No one can.

Tap into the calm
Shraddha Neeraj, Coach and therapist

Shraddha Neeraj

Shraddha Neeraj's clients have been asking her to deal with their fears. "The fear is real," she says right off the bat. One of her clients recently had a panic attack after her husband did not message/call when his flight had landed, "Different people are going through different things but the crash has been a major trigger," she adds.

So what should you do?

Shraddha recommends:

1 Proactive control over exposure: We can always be informed and use discretion about what they are consuming.
2 Seek help for mental health: Go to professionals, don't hesitate.
3 Sometimes bubbles are good: Imagine an energy bubble around the person you love and hand over their safety to a higher power.
4 Breathwork: Breathwork is essential for those who do not believe in a higher power.
5 Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or Tapping: It is a therapy that combines cognitive and somatic elements to address emotional and physical pain. There are nine specific acupressure points on the body and
the technique teaches you how to tap and self-soothe yourself.

How does one protect children?
Snehalata Jain, Parent and travel blogger, Vashi

Snehalata Jain's five-year-old son, Aarit Shah, has been having a difficult time since the airplane crash at Ahmedabad. "He comes to me and asks ‘Mumma, what if the plane comes and crashes into our house?' He has been asking things like ‘Will it burn?', because he saw the charred bodies on the news," says the mother of two. A child's imagination is often a wonderful thing but Jain feels that in situations like this it becomes dangerous, "It's a constant exercise to rein his imagination in and I end up consoling him and saying ‘aisa kuch nahi hoga'," says the Vashi resident.

Snehalata with son Aarit Shah

Jain was particularly having a hard time after the three children (five-year-old twins Nakul and Pradyut, and their eight-year-old sister Miraya) who were moving to London with their doctor parents were killed in the crash. "That story in particular hit me because of the children. But really, every day we are hearing about the lives and dreams of people who were either on the plane or were hit by it on the ground. The visual of a mother running out of a ball of fire asking people to come to help her find her son was heart-wrenching and it's affecting my mental health," she says.

Jain's words strike a chord among most of us who have been fighting the overwhelming visuals of the tragedy. "I have been crying with every piece of news, every visual, so much so that my husband finally took away my phone for a bit," she says. Finally she tried to control her consumption of news. "I have a limit to the number of posts that I see. I stop at five to 10 reels or stories or posts and then I don't pick up my phone for a while," she adds.

Jain has seen uncertainty of living in city firsthand, as she was caught in the floods of 2005, when she was in her last year of college. "I walked in neck deep water from Chembur to Vashi and got an infection leading to a locked jaw (temporomandibular disorder); it took me a year of treatment to fully recover," says Jain. She points out these incidents were rare and most of us would get a breather before the next great tragedy. "Now I feel they don't stop, it's like you are the punching bag and the punches don't stop. You don't have time to centre yourself," she adds.

Jain rekindles a childhood memory, "When we were kids and planes were not as common as they are now, whenever one would pass over us we would look up and say a prayer or make the sign of the cross so that the people in it would go home safely," she says. Maybe we all need to look up and say a little prayer.

From the outside in
Himanshi Punglia, Manchester, UK

Himanshi Punglia has been living in the UK for the last year. The 21-year-old is in her last year of college, and plans to return to India when she is done with her degree. As she prepares for a flight back home, the anxiety is also clocking in. "So many tragic incidents have happened recently, especially in June, mostly related to flights and travel. So many people are dying, and I'm on one side of the world, while my family is on the other. It's not like these things directly affect me, but they make you think - anything can happen to anyone, right? You get these intrusive thoughts, and you don't know what to expect."

Himanshi Punglia currently stays in Manchester, UK, and is feeling scared to take a flight back home

"Even when I'm booking a flight now, I'm checking whether it's a Boeing or Airbus, because there have been so many reports about Boeing planes being involved in accidents. Earlier, we never used to think about these things - we'd just book tickets."

Punglia feels that 2025 has been especially stacked with tragedies. "It started with the Pahalgam incident, things happened in the US; there was a stampede in Bangalore, and then that train tragedy in Mumbai. Then Ahmedabad. It's been constant," she says, adding, "It's overwhelming because no one expects any of it. And I scroll a lot online. I follow a lot of tarot creators, and there was one woman who said, ‘I told you 2025 would be full of death, and don't make any travel plans in June now. It was all very scary." Punglia says, "I have found myself becoming more religious, and I also try to look for the best in the situation."

‘In Ahmedabad, everyone's spooked'

Vipul Shah lives 2 km away from the crash site and rushed to it when news broke on the fateful day. "I am a transporter, and one of my drivers was on the same route. I looked for him, but he was okay," he says. The mood in Ahmedabad, he says, is one of "let's get back to work". "But yes, many people say things like ‘I am relieved it didn't fall on our side'. They are not being insensitive, just honest," he adds. The day after the crash, says Shah, it was almost like a heat wave. "The temperature went up to 47 degrees around 1 pm. It was that way for almost four hours, and it made sense because apparently the temperature of the plane went up to 1000 degrees," he says. At the same time, many have cancelled their plans to travel, including his neighbours. "Everyone is spooked right now," he says.

Phobia Reigns

>>  Fights have broken out on some flights over occupation of seat number 11A, where the lone survivor of AI 171 was seated, reflecting the power of superstition
>>  People have cancelled flight tickets out of fear
>>  Some have postponed plans that involve any travel, even by train or car