Want friends? RSVP first: Why more people may be signing up to experience something new

Roshan Shanbhag believes that paid events lead to quality experiences. PIC/SATEJ SHINDE

Social media feeds have lately turned into event calendars - scroll for five minutes and there is an ad inviting you to a coffee rave, a run club event, a speed friend-ing or a conversation with strangers. While all of these events are excellent opportunities to go out and network, they are usually heavily paywalled. When you click on the ads, they take you to event sites that ask you to pay Rs 200 to Rs 5000. It does feel a little off-putting when one looks at the broader picture and realises that there is a fee you have to pay to merely meet new people, or to make new friends. In such a case, it becomes natural to wonder - are we so starved for real connection in the era of social media, that we are falling for it?

Sachin Shanbhag and Amanda D'souza

A lot of this has been noticeable after the pandemic ended; "After too much time spent on online meetings and endless scrolling, people realised they prefer real-life interactions" says Saurav Arya, a 40-year-old who founded Small World, a company that organises events for people to meet and interact. Simultaneously, social media began to turn everything into an "aesthetic" - meet ups had to take place in boujee cafes with expensive coffee and curated playlists, and people thus began chasing the vibes. Daily interactions did not just need to feel good any more, they also needed to look good.

Researchers Radoslav Baltezarević and Ivana Baltezarevic in their 2024 paper on the "experience economy" also mention how consumers' likes and dislikes are shaped by experiences. Consumers, they say, are willing to pay for moments that are memorable, even if short-lived. In this way, the purchase of experiences also becomes more valuable than material purchases.

Small World is a brand that organises paid events

When the demand for these curated vibes grows, brands know exactly how to deliver them. "We realised that it's not even about the number of events, but solving a deeper problem," Arya explains. "People have told us that they don't even have someone they can call a friend. The 2 am friend has vanished." He further talks about why people choose to pay for such events. "It ensures that people are genuinely interested and they know that the person in front of them has spent the same amount of money to be there, so they are interested too." People don't take free events seriously, he says, adding that Small World tries to keep their events affordable.

While the costs may sometimes seem high, they usually go towards the venue, logistics, promotion, and even ensuring that the event has good hosts. Some attendees feel that the prices they pay are justified. People who have given these paid events a try have also reported that they proved to be of some value to them. Roshan Shanbhag, 47, who is new to the city and enjoys being social, found the Rs 3000-event that he recently attended to be a satisfactory experience.

SGNP Reads is a community of readers that operates on a free basis

"When you see people at such events, it's clear that some may find it hard to meet people naturally," he says. "It's about personality traits; some are good at making friends, others aren't. I noticed two or three people who were listeners more than talkers - just sitting quietly, nodding along. But I think it's a good escape for people who want to make new friends." Like many people who attend such events, Roshan left with a good memory, if not forever-connections.

Because the meet-up was only for a few hours, he says, it was not enough for anyone to form actual connections. "It felt weird to share numbers or hang out again immediately, so while I had a good time, it is uncertain if I'll attend more of them or hang out with the same people again." Roshan smiles.

There are also free events, organised just to foster a community the organic way. Inspired by Cubbon Reads in Bangalore that started the notion of reading in parks, Amanda D'Souza and Sachin Shanbhag wanted to bring a similar practice to Borivli, which led to the Sanjay Gandhi National Park Reads - a community of silent readers who would meet every Sunday. D'Souza, 31, notes, "Post-pandemic, we noticed that there is a lack of third spaces where people can hang out outside of their work and home, where they can just exist and connect. We have tried to create that safe space through our activity."

Pradnya Mangutkar and Sourav Arya

SGNP Reads was also presented with various chances to monetise itself. "Once people began noticing us, brands started asking us for collaborations," she mentions, "It is important to us that our initiative stays non-commercial and continues for the shared love of reading." She further adds, "There is also a conception that when one is not paying for something, they are the product. With us, there is no compulsion for one to even introduce themselves when they walk in."

SGNP Reads has definitely succeeded in bringing like-minded people together, who have made it a comfortable space for them to share common interests and live an experience without having to pay for it. Sachin adds, "You cannot create genuine connections through transactions; people need to want to be there. We have noticed that those who attend regularly have begun to interact with each other."

Largely, people do find meaning in interactions even if they are not paying a fee for them. For 18-year-old Pradnya Mangutkar, attending events that are free of cost has exposed her to a lot of different people, and given her experiences to last a lifetime. "I don't see going out as, ‘Oh, I have to spend.' I see it as, ‘I just need to go out and talk to people.' So, I usually prefer free events." Mangutkar shares. She further adds, "I've attended a lot of free lectures in museums and other places. These events have helped me make meaningful connections. The conversations aren't just small talk - it's about exchanging information and ideas, not just names."

The rise of ticketed events shows how much can be done to foster communities, a friends' circle, or just one person to listen to us and be there for us. While the craving for connection increases, many people find it easier to pay a price and ease it, while others still strive for spontaneity, without giving in to what they might feel are forced connections. So, that next RSVP might be an RSVP to belong, to feel a little less lonely.