Dr Love with Mid-Day: Do I stand any chance with him?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 25-year-old woman in love with a guy my age who has a girlfriend. They are in a long-distance relationship, and I sometimes feel as if he is frustrated with the idea of never being with her. He's a friend of mine and we chat about his personal life at times, so I know that he isn't always happy about this situation. I want to tell him how I feel and don't because it makes me guilty. It's as if I am taking advantage of his loneliness and don't know if it will ruin our friendship. Do I have a chance with this guy, given the unhappiness he is dealing with? I know he loves his girlfriend, but I also know they aren't going to be together anytime soon. What should I do?
You feel guilty because you know you're taking information imparted to you as a friend and using it to your advantage. This notion that all is fair in love and war may seem harmless, but there are real people involved, and there is a woman here who isn't being spoken for at all. Your friend may be struggling with loneliness and the frustration of being separated from his girlfriend, but unless he comes to a resolution on his own and decides that his relationship isn't working, you are simply causing harm to another woman who has no control over this situation. You can tell him how you feel if a conversation lends itself to that topic, but to do so wilfully while knowing it may harm this relationship will inadvertently cause you pain too, unless you choose to leave your conscience at home.

Why doesn't my husband want any children? How do I convince him to change his mind?
Parenting is a life-altering decision that should not be taken lightly. If he doesn't want children and has good reasons for this, you cannot compel him to change his mind until your reasons are more plausible. This has to be a joint decision.

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