Dr Love with Mid-Day: I feel guilty hiding it from my wife...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I recently flirted with an office colleague at an offsite and I have been guilty about it since that evening. I know I should tell my wife about what happened, but I can't because I don't know how she will react to this. Nothing serious happened and I didn't cheat on her, but I still feel as if I did something wrong. Am I obligated to tell her what happened? If I don't say a word, I worry that she may think I am hiding something bigger from her because she always notices when I look guilty about something. What if she overreacts and this becomes a problem I can't manage? Did I do something terrible?
The best way to have a healthy, solid relationship of any kind is to be completely transparent about anything that troubles you, because it is the only way to establish and build trust. You feel guilty because you believe you did something wrong. You may not have cheated on your wife, but hiding anything like this from her will only make you seem more guilty. She may be hurt by your admission, but a relationship won't evolve or thrive if you withhold things that bother you. Tell her what happened, ask for her forgiveness, and allow her to feel what she wants to. It is the best way to process what has occurred and find a way forward.

My girlfriend who lives in another country is coming to see me after two years, but the problem is I think I have fallen for someone else. I don't know how to tell her this because it will break her heart. What should I do?
To not tell her this before she makes this trip may be a crueller thing because you are actively being deceptive. If this relationship is over, the sooner you come clean, the better it will be for you both. Be honest about what has happened and save her the trouble of having to make this trip under false pretences.

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