Dr Love with Mid-Day: I feel he is never really there for me

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend has been with me for a year or so but, in all that time, I feel as if he is completely insensitive and never around for me when I genuinely need him. This was not a problem earlier because I just wrote it off as a behavioural trait, but the more I think about it now, the more I feel as if this relationship can't continue this way because it feels too one-sided. I mentioned this to him a few days ago and he didn't agree with me at all, saying that I had different expectations and that I needed to reconsider them. If he isn't even willing to accept how I am feeling, how can this evolve into something more positive for both of us?
It can't and the sooner you spell that out, the better, because this is gaslighting that won't be healthy for either of you. If you feel unsupported, that's a problem and it has to be addressed. If you aren't getting what you want out of this relationship and your boyfriend isn't taking that seriously, there is no future with him. If he doesn't understand the gravity of it and isn't interested in making changes, it betrays a lack of respect and a perspective that is at odds with what you want this to be. Tell him this one more time and, if he continues to dismiss your concerns, rethink this relationship.

Should I date someone who got divorced at 25? I like him a lot and I also know why his marriage didn't work, but I still worry about potential red flags. What if it was his fault and I don't know enough to understand him better? Should I take the risk?
Every relationship is different and you are under no obligation to commit to one until you're ready. To judge someone based on their past doesn't make sense given that you don't know enough about how they treat you. Ask for time, take things slowly, and ask more questions.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com