Dr Love with Mid-Day: I have trust issues with my girlfriend

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My girlfriend always makes promises and then backs away from them. She never keeps her word, and it leads to unnecessary arguments because it feels as if she is willing to say anything to avoid a problem. I have told her that it's leading to an erasure of trust on my part, but she doesn't get it. We have been together for two years and I love her a lot, but I have begun to have serious doubts about being able to commit to a long-term relationship with her because of this. Is there any way of getting her to change or should I just assume that she is going to be like this and make my peace with it?
A relationship has to evolve based on each partner's expectations and this involves constantly talking about what is or isn't working. If she isn't willing to do what you want her to, and you feel as if you are being compelled to make a compromise you don't want, there is no future here because your acceptance will turn to resentment after a point. If she can't make an effort to do something that will make this relationship stronger, you have to ask yourself if you are willing to accept things the way they are. Being honest with your response will tell you whether you want to commit to something long-term or not.

How do I know if just being friends with a girl I like will work for us? I like her a lot, but she doesn't feel the same way about me and says we should try this for a while.
Maybe she needs time to see things from your perspective. The only way to figure this out is to spend more time with her and give her a chance to get to know you better. She wants to be friends, which is a great thing, so why not accept her offer and see how things change? At the very least, you may find a trustworthy companion.

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