Dr Love with Mid-Day: Regret breaking up with her...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

A few months ago, my girlfriend and I broke up because we felt as if our relationship was not going anywhere. We had been together for around two years at that point, and it felt like the right time to end things because there was no happiness. I just found out that she has moved on and is with someone else. I am still single. When I think of her now, and look back at how things were between us, I feel as if there was so much more that we could have done. We could have made it work if we were more patient and if we had been more honest about what we wanted from each other. I miss having her in my life and am thinking of messaging her to ask her to reconsider. Is this a bad idea? What if I am just feeling this way because she is with someone else?
What you feel may be valid, but has nothing to do with the facts, which are that you both decided to end your relationship, and that she has moved on and is with someone else. You can always message her, of course, but it has to be done with the knowledge that she is under no obligation to reconsider or even respond. Yes, her moving on may have something to do with this change of feelings too, but none of this matters because of what the reality is. Hindsight can change a lot of perspectives, but it doesn't change the fact that she is with someone else because she has chosen to be. She may not look back at her relationship with you the way you do, and that is entirely her prerogative. Reaching out at this point may make you feel as if you have acted upon your feelings, but there's no guarantee that it may lead to anything other than awkwardness or even more sadness, once you find out that she has put the past behind her and you haven't.

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