He says he is falling for me!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I was recently introduced to a guy by a common friend, and we chatted about a few things, after which he asked me out. I liked him enough to accept and went on a few dates. There was nothing amazing about our time together, so I was surprised when he recently messaged to tell me he was falling in love with me. I don't know what to say because if I laugh it off, he will think I was misleading him. I don't want to say I'm not interested either, because it sounds unnecessarily cruel. Should I go out with him a few times and then say I don't think it's working?
What do you hope to accomplish by going out again if you are already sure there's nothing here? The onus of making him feel better about your decision isn't on you, because you are adults with minds of your own. If he likes you, he is entitled to his feeling, but you are also within your rights to express why you don't reciprocate. Being honest and direct about this makes it easier for you both, and avoids unnecessary complications given that you already know how you feel about him.

A friend of mine keeps asking me out to social events but doesn't agree to go alone with me if I ask her out to dinner or a date. I am getting mixed signals from her. How do I find out what she wants?
When in doubt, ask direct questions. Start with yourself though, because you need to know what your hopes for the best outcome are. If you would like to get to know her better, it may help to mention that upfront, because it may convince her to do the same. If she doesn't know what she wants, you can both agree to wait until there's some measure of clarity. Either way, asking questions is the way to go, and continuing to meet her will always help you both find answers sooner rather than later.

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