A humourous look at events and anecdotes of 2011

Dec 31, 2011, 10:27 IST | Hemal Ashar

On the last day of 2011, the time is tripe... oops ripe to revisit events and anecdotes. All with a twist. After all, there is the whole of next year to be serious

On the last day of 2011, the time is tripe... oops ripe to revisit events and anecdotes. All with a twist. After all, there is the whole of next year to be serious. So, let down your hair and along with cartoonist Satish Acharya's best of the year, wonder about such inanities like...

>> Whether if a bigwig industrialist blows a flying kiss, it must travel business class?

>> Whether in aamchi Mumbai with the current Marathi manoos flavour, this New Year Mumbaikars will be kissing under the missaltoe?

>> Why eggs should not come under the Yolkpal Bill because after all, this is Ann(d)a ka funda?

>> Whether our Parliamentarians will jump on to tables and have a rocking New Year's Party with a number belting out in the background -- Bill, Bill, pass, pass, mein kya janoo re?

>> Whether when Santa Claus came to Mumbai this Christmas, and slid down the chimney at Indu Mills in Dadar (Shivaji Park) he was surprised to see Republican Party of India (RPI) activists camping out there?

>> Whether Santa's sleigh has a Global Positioning System (GPS), so that his North Pole headquarters can keep track of him, whether you can follow Santa Claus on Twitter and whether kids send him messages on Facebook?

>> Whether one Facebook page tells another --it's love at first (networking) site?

>> Whether cooks who are cooking food over coals in dhabas along the way in North India, rock to Coal-averi D bridging the North-South divide?

>> Whether you would need visas to go into space as a tourist and whether the space tourist office will be located at Mumbai's Nehru Planetarium?

>> Whether we can go to the Sea Lounge at the Taj and startle the steward there by asking for a, cutting chai?

>> Whether trying to figure out what somebody called Mr. Reddy is saying would need a Reddy Reckoner. And who is Mr. Reddy? How on earth do I know?

>> Whether Mr. Cyrus Mistry (Mr. Ratan Tata's successor) and Mr. Mukesh Ambani could discuss a joint venture over a power breakfast of, chaha aani pohe?

>> Whether you have read this one--that a Gujarati TV channel was impressed with the program Koffee with Karan and now is going to beam a program called Chaas with Chhagan?

>> Whether two test tubes in a chemistry laboratory can get together and produce a test tube baby?

>> Whether abstract paintings which have most people highly confused, will once again sell in crores this year at auctions like Christie's and Sotheby's?

>> Whether if two pressure cookers make out in Mumbai it is all about Sex and the Ceetee?

>> Whether one petrol pump asks another: Have you read Fuel's Paradise?

>> Whether our stars will continue asking for crores for roles in movies and item girls and boys will make more from one song that most people make in one year

>> Whether ponytails keep jumping in a high impact hairobics class? 
>> Whether one onion tells another - that one's a real tearjerker?

>> Whether one Pankaj Advani billiards champion is a brand ambassador for Maharashtra Telephone Nigam Limited (MTNL) because of their catchline: aapan raangeth aahat-- you are in cue � oops queue

>> Whether one massage bottle will tell another: Arre 'Rub' ne bana di jodi

>> Whether one table fan sings to the one on the ceiling � ooh la la la tu hai meri 'fan' tasy

>> Whether one knitting needle tells the other, let's try to pull the wool over that one's eyes

>> Whether we can jump off planes holding bottles of parachute oil hoping they will open real soooon?

>> Whether one kitchen says to the other, with piped gas coming in, it is time to fire on all cylinders?

>> Whether the Indo-Italian Chamber for Co-Operation (don't think such a body exists but here one can make that up) will record a number together called, Pasta, pasta dekho aankh meri ladhi hai

>> Whether one pack of cards would tell another: it is time to call a spades a spades

>> Whether pizza delivery boys would ask: C-Section or Normal Delivery?

>> Whether the anti-corruption movement is under Anna-esthesia and needs a major operation in the next year?

>> Whether Mumbai's Rajabhai Clock Tower will tell London's Big Ben - Wake up and Smell the Curry?

>> Whether Sachin Tendulkar's new home in Bandra is part of the Maharashtra Tourism Development
Corporation's (MTDC) Mumbai Darshan tour and so is Mr. Mukesh Ambani's Antilla?

>> Whether Air India's Maharaja protested when Indian royalty lost its privy purse in the  Constitutional Amendment of 1971?

>> Whether it is true that these days snakes are buying their own i-pods and swaying to their favourite numbers... this is why snake charmers might soon be part of hisssssstory.

>> History. Just like the year 2011 is. Happy 2012 do get high even as I wonder why � you, dear reader,  keep reading this tripe, anyway?

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