Can money buy you love?

Published: Jan 14, 2009, 06:37 IST | Soma Das |

A new study has revealed that men usually overspend in order to impress the opposite sex. iTALK tells you why those OTT gestures may be ruining your chances

A balance of both, Shamita Singha, Model and TV host
There needs to be a balance between both money and personality. The nature of the individual matters more than money, but the spending capacity indicates monetary security, which is also necessary.

A new study has revealed that men usually overspend in order to impress the opposite sex. iTALK tells you why those OTT gestures may be ruining your chances 

Women often come across suitors who shower them with gifts in a bid to win them over. A research from the University of Michigan seeks to explain this tried-and-tested theory by evoking the theory of evolution. They reason that in the ancestral environment, men were valued for being good providers but in today's consumer culture, they show their potential through the goods they purchase.

Dr Anjali Chhabria, Psychiatrist, Mind Temple Counselling Centre, attributes this phenomenon to social conditioning. "Men are under tremendous pressure from society. Tradition demands that women impress men by their looks and behaviour, while men take care of them and spend on them. Even at the time of marriage, families look for a well-settled, good-looking guy."

However, there is a thin line between pampering the one you love and going overboard to flaunt the moolah.

Chhabria feels that women ultimately fall for a man's personality, and not just the spending power. "It is only the young and gullible who are impressed by how much people spend on them. It may even be interpreted as trying to buy affection, which is a big turn-off. Women are smart; they enjoy the attention but are really looking for inner substance."

Interestingly, this theory has even been used to explain the economic meltdown in the US. The urge to spend and prove themselves explains spiraling CEO salaries, middle class' demand for bigger homes as well as the overtly risky behavior of Wall Street wizards who have decided to approve shaky mortgages in a bid to make quick money.

Overspending shows insecurity

Chaya Momaya Grooming Consultant

Women look for a man who is intelligent and more practical, than someone who goes for such gimmicks. It shows a lack of depth in the guy, as he has to look for outside support rather than rely on his personality. It's only when a person needs to show off that they give exorbitant gifts rather than thoughtful, simple gifts.

Recession has not affected the search for a mate

Vibhas Mehta Business Head,
The trend of logging on to matrimonial sites is caused by the changing social fabric. Even recession has not deterred people from spending a premium amount on looking for their life partner, as they are lonely and looking for love. In the absence of a strong social network to fall back on, people are moving to other forms of communication. The Internet takes away the geographical boundaries and one can get to know the other person better, before even deciding to meet.

How to impress without being OTT
>>Buy gifts only on special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries.
>>Buying gifts too often may lead to the gifts not being valued.
>>Don't keep talking about the gift you have bought as it may seem like you did it just to show off.
>>Give special and thoughtful gifts based on the other person's liking rather than yours.

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