Dr Payal Tadvi in her suicide note: I literally do not see any way, only the end

Updated: Jul 26, 2019, 08:43 IST | Faizan Khan

Dr Payal Tadvi's suicide note narrates what she went through and holds the three accused doctors responsible for her death; Crime Branch confirms in charge sheet that handwriting on note is hers

Dr Payal Tadvi in her suicide note: I literally do not see any way, only the end
Dr Payal Tadvi

The Mumbai Crime Branch has confirmed in its charge sheet that the suicide note retrieved from Dr Payal Tadvi's cell phone was written by her. The suicide note and witnesses statements are an important and direct evidence against the three accused doctors in the 1,203 pages-long charge sheet.

Dr Tadvi, a second-year student of the gynaecology department had hanged herself in her hostel room at the BYL Nair Hospital on May 22. Her seniors, Dr Hema Ahuja, Dr Ankita Khandelwal and Dr Bhakti Mehare, were accused of abetting her suicide and torturing her with casteist remarks. In the suicide note Dr Tadvi has said, "I hold Hema Ahuja, Bhakti Mehare and Ankita Khandelwal responsible for condition of my and Snehal (sic)." Snehal Shinde was a colleague of Dr Tadvi. In the three pages of the suicide note, Dr Tadvi has narrated everything she went through and held the three accused doctors responsible for her death.

Also Read: Mumbai doctor's suicide: Police files chargesheet against three in Payal Tadvi case

In the charge sheet the police have alleged that doctors Ahuja, Mehare and Khandelwal abetted the suicide of their junior colleague. It was filed in a special court set up under the Scheduled Castes and the Scheduled Tribes (Prevention of Atrocities) Act.

The charge sheet shows 274 people as witnesses in the case, out of which, the statements of 183 have been recorded. The Bombay High Court on Thursday ordered that all proceedings should be video recorded.

Also Read: Her voice still buzzes in my head says Dr. Payal Tadvi's husband

Excerpts from Dr Payal Tadvi's suicide note

I am really sorry mom and dad to take away my life. I know how much I mean to you all and also you are world to me, but no, at this stage everything has become unbearable. I cannot stand a minute with them. From last one year we have been bearing them hoping one day this will end. But now I can only see the end there is no way out of it really I cannot find way out it. I'm stuck each and everyday is similar to as days are just passing off but we are moving nowhere why this is so? What is the personal thing between us that is causing you to trouble us?

I have made this decision after trying everything out. I found out no one is there to stand for us, support us in this department. In fact it is all our fault, or we are at fault has been concluded. I have chosen this branch with all passion cause I always wanted to be gynaecologist. I step into this college hoping I will get to learn under such good institute. But people started showing their colours. Initially me and Snehal didn't come forward and said anything to anyone. The torture continued to the level that I could not bear. I complain against them but it showed no result. Condition was similar and it was still going on. Now be it a mistake or now we are so teared apart in front of everyone, patients, staff almost everyday. I have lost my professional life personal life everything because it has been declared by them that they will not let me learn anything until they are here in Nair. I have been purposely posted in PMC ward so that I cannot learn about the ANC and Gynec patients. I am prohibited from handling labour room from last 3 week because they don't find me efficient. I have been asked to stay out of labour room during OPD hours. Also they asked me to do HMIS entry on computer they do not allow me check patients, all I am doing is clerical work.

Despite putting all efforts, still the condition not improving but I am becoming mentally disturbed.

...I hold Hema Ahuja, Bhakti Mehare and Ankita Khandelwal responsible for condition of my and Snehal. What they have made is today or what they have portrayed us in front of SHO, lecturers head of unit and hea did department. I have tried a lot come forward many times spoke with madam about this but nothing has been done. I literally do not see anyway. I can only see THE END. With apology to my parents and beloved ones.

The above text is as was written by Dr Tadvi

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