Girl kissed my boyfriend and he didn't tell her off!

Published: 18 December, 2019 06:23 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I think he should have told her off, because it made me look foolish, but he thinks I am over-reacting

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveMy boyfriend and I were at a party a few weeks ago, and a common friend of ours kissed him in front of everyone. He laughed it off, and I know he isn't interested in her or anything, but it upset me. I spoke to him about it later, asking why he didn't tell her off, and he laughed again saying he didn't take it seriously. I think he should have told her off, because it made me look foolish, but he thinks I am over-reacting. Am I? Should I insist on him apologising to me or just let it go?

You are not overreacting if you are being honest about how this incident made you feel. It seems as if he isn't taking your feelings seriously enough, which is something he ought to even if the incident itself is a trivial one. He is entitled to laugh it off, because he isn't concerned about that woman, but you are also entitled to feel humiliated. If you want an apology, explain to him why this matters. If he respects your feelings, he will apologise even if he doesn't mean it. Tell him that the incident isn't important but acknowledging how it made you feel certainly is.

I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago and am still angry because it doesn't seem as if he misses me or understands why our relationship failed. I want him to be sorry, even though I know this is childish. If he doesn't get it, it simply means his time with me meant nothing to him. What should I do?

If he doesn't get it, and the two of you have called it off, it is because it wasn't worth fighting for. This relationship failed because one or both of you didn't do what it takes to try and make it work. What will him being sorry now do for you at this point? We learn from our mistakes, but some people take more time to process these lessons than others.

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