Girlfriend wants me to get six-pack abs!

Published: Sep 30, 2019, 05:14 IST | DR Love

Her behaviour is changing slowly, and I am afraid

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveMy girlfriend and I have been together for four years now. I am slightly built, with a medium-sized body, and she used to like the way I looked at the start. For the past month or so, however, she has been angry and has been asking me to work on getting six-pack abs. I am confused about this and not sure where this wish is coming from. I asked her for at least a year to get these abs, but she says she wants me to have them in 30 days. Her behaviour is changing slowly, and I am afraid. What should I do?— Akshay DK

If she didn't have a problem with how you look for four years, have you tried asking her why she suddenly finds you inadequate now? I'm not really sure if this is about abs at all, to be honest, because it feels as if there is some other cause of unhappiness being expressed here. I suggest you have a conversation about what it means for your relationship if she can't accept you the way you are. You haven't asked her to change in any way, over the past four years, so ask why she feels the need to try and mould the way you look for her benefit, and what she hopes that will accomplish. Speaking about why she wants this may help you get a better idea of where this need for a six-pack is really coming from. There is probably some kind of insecurity at work here, and it is important that you both address it for the well-being of your future together.

I am 30 and single. I have decided to marry between the age of 32 and 35 after figuring out my career. Is this a good idea?— Rahul J

There is no manual on what the right time to marry is, because it has more to do with finding the person you want to be with rather than an appropriate age for such a union.

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