He acts like he is doing me a favour

Updated: Jun 25, 2020, 04:54 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

This has affected my self-esteem and I am now questioning whether this relationship will last because I can't imagine being married to someone like this

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DRMy boyfriend and I were together for two years before he asked me to move in with him. I agreed because I thought I knew him well but since that happened, he spends all his time making me feel as if he is doing me a favour. This has affected my self-esteem and I am now questioning whether this relationship will last because I can't imagine being married to someone like this. At the same time, I feel grateful that he asked me to move in with him because it gives me some feeling of security. I am very confused because I can't make up my mind about what decision will be right for me in the long run. Please help.

Stockholm syndrome refers to alliances formed between hostages and their captors during captivity. It is too strong an analogy for what you are going through, but I mention it anyway because I believe it makes sense for you to try and step away from your situation to evaluate it more objectively. If your boyfriend has changed, and believes your self-esteem doesn't matter, it is a sign of disrespect that doesn't fit in with the notion of an equal partnership. There are no favours in a relationship because partners prop each other up. Speak to family and friends if possible, try and get another opinion, and do what works for you first, not your relationship.

I am a 29-year old woman and have been in a relationship with a 31-year old guy who says he is very serious about me. The problem is, he still lives with his mother who is a widow. He says he will never live apart from her, which bothers me because it will mean never having a life of our own together with just the two of us. Does this mean I should forget about him?

That depends entirely upon how badly you want him in your life, and how much you are prepared to compromise to make that future with him work.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

Catch up on all the latest Mumbai news, crime news, current affairs, and a complete guide from food to things to do and events across Mumbai. Also download the new mid-day Android and iOS apps to get latest updates.

Mid-Day is now on Telegram. Click here to join our channel (@middayinfomedialtd) and stay updated with the latest news

Sign up for all the latest news, top galleries and trending videos from Mid-day.com

Subscribe
loading image
This website uses cookie or similar technologies, to enhance your browsing experience and provide personalised recommendations. By continuing to use our website, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy. OK