He chases me even though I said no!

Published: Dec 07, 2019, 05:26 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I have been patient, explained a thousand times that this will never happen because I don't think of him the same way, and have even dated other people, none of which has made a difference

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr lOveI have been friends with a guy since college, and he has always told me that he has strong feelings for me. I don't feel the same way about him. I really like him as a friend, and enjoy spending time with him, but he always ruins it by asking me to consider getting into a relationship with him. I have been patient, explained a thousand times that this will never happen because I don't think of him the same way, and have even dated other people, none of which has made a difference. He seems to think being persistent is the key to winning me over, but it is pushing me away. How do I get my message across?

This is the kind of inane idea a lot of men seem to have because they aren't taught to accept the fact that no really means no. They probably get this idea from the awful cinema we love to churn out year after year. If he doesn't get the message, you need to do what you have to. If this means losing a friend, that may unfortunately be the only choice. There has to be a limit to your patience.

I rejected a friend's proposal a few months ago, after which he pretty much stopped being in touch with me. I tried reaching out a few times asking him to stop being childish, and he accused me of leading him on. I am pretty sure I did nothing to give him the wrong impression, so I am hurt by his allegation. I want to be friends with him again but can't do it if he thinks I wronged him in some way. Should I just apologise if it means he may be my friend again?

Your apology will only serve to reinforce the notion that you did something wrong, when you haven't. Ask yourself if it is worth it to have a friend who can't accept you for who you are or accept your decisions as an adult.

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