He has only grown angry over the years

Updated: 28 August, 2020 04:13 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

Over the past couple of years, unfortunately, I seem to have become calmer while he has only grown angrier

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DR LOveMy partner and I have been together through thick and thin for almost a decade now. We have had good times as well as rough times, and I thought we would always be together. Over the past couple of years, unfortunately, I seem to have become calmer while he has only grown angrier. I don't know if it is his personal life or professional situation that it to blame, or just the fact that living in a big city can be stressful for anyone, but it is starting to have a bad effect on our relationship. I would like him to be the person I have always known him to be, but it now seems like an impossible task. What can I do to help?

It is impossible to pinpoint what the cause of someone's disturbed state is, if it happens over a period of time. You say this has been the case for years, which means it is a combination of factors. Acknowledging it is the first step, and you should initiate that conversation with your partner. No one likes being angry all the time because it can be mentally and physically draining. Your partner needs empathy, as well as someone to help him deal with what is obviously a difficult time. I suggest you take a holiday, start talking about daily irritants rather than big problems, and speak to a counsellor for advice on how you can both do little things to improve your mental well-being.

I thought my ex-husband had moved on after our divorce but, over the weekend, he sent me several messages asking if we could meet. What is he trying to do?

You won't know what he wants unless you ask. You can choose to meet him or ignore him, because the two of you alone know why your relationship failed. I suggest you evaluate how you feel before and after your divorce before figuring out what to do about his messages.

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First Published: 28 August, 2020 04:13 IST


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