He is married, but I can't stop this affair

Updated: 12 September, 2020 06:20 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I know this is wrong, because he has two children and I can't imagine what they will do if they find out about us, but I am madly in love with him and can't give it up.

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI have been having an affair with a married man for almost six months now. I know this is wrong, because he has two children and I can't imagine what they will do if they find out about us, but I am madly in love with him and can't give it up. He doesn't want to leave his family for me and is very clear that this is just an affair for him. Should I continue it for a while until I lose interest in him?

Are you asking me if adultery is okay for a while? I'm afraid I have to say it isn't. Apart from the legal repercussions of him cheating on a lawfully wedded partner, you have mentioned his children and claim to be worried about the impact of this on them. If he is prepared to lie to his family, you have to ask yourself if he is going to be honest with you. Also, ask yourself what you are really getting out of this apart from a fleeting sense of physical intimacy, before deciding what to do next. What happens if you don't lose interest in him? Will giving it up be harder a year from now?

How can I convince a close friend that we should try getting into a relationship? He is very happy being friends because he thinks relationships are messy, but I believe the two of us would be very good together. How do I get him to try and take things a little further?

If he isn't interested, he isn't interested; it's that simple. You can't convince someone to fall in love with you because life isn't an awful Akshay Kumar movie. If you push this, you have to accept the possibility of losing a friend in the event of a relationship not working out. If he seems quite content and clear about what he wants, why assume you know better? Tell him how you feel, talk about being okay with whatever he decides, and accept what happens.

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First Published: 12 September, 2020 06:18 IST

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