He patronises me owing to my age

Updated: Jul 22, 2019, 07:24 IST | Dr. Love

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He patronises me owing to my age
Dr. Love

Dr. LoveI have been dating a guy who is almost a decade older than I am. We don't have any serious problems and have been together for over a year now, but I sometimes feel as if he patronises me. Something doesn't feel genuine about him, and I can't shake that feeling. I know he loves me, but at the same time it feels as if he tolerates me and doesn't respect my opinions simply because he thinks I am too young to have one. I don't know how to have a conversation with him about this because it sounds strange even while I am typing this query. What should I do? Do I sound weird for feeling this way? Should I just let it go and wait until I feel more comfortable?

You have every right to feel any way you do, and should never apologise for what you feel. A relationship involves people learning about each other and figuring out how to navigate their personalities around each other. Age shouldn't really have much of an impact if a relationship is based on equality. If he chooses to be with you, it should be because he accepts you and your opinions. If you feel as if he doesn't, you have every right to call it out and confront him. A part of him may be doing this without being conscious of it, so it is only by you specifically explaining why you feel the way you do that you can get past this and arrive at a better place. This doesn't have to be a major issue if you talk about it constantly and find a way of changing how you both communicate with each other.

A friend of mine suggested we get into a relationship. I said I would think about it but he has now changed his mind. Should I force him to try?

Why force someone into a relationship? Why not simply go back to being friends and see how things evolve?

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