He wants another kid, I am scared!

Updated: 18 August, 2020 07:44 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

If he isn't prepared to have that conversation, ask him to consider therapy before making what will undoubtedly be a life-altering decision for you both.

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been married for seven years, and we have two children. My husband is a nice man, but he doesn't believe in sharing any work when it comes to parenting. I do everything from feeding and clothing them to making sure their schoolwork is done. He simply contributes financially, and it is exhausting. He has been asking me to consider a third child lately and even the thought of it frightens me. He is very keen, but I don't think I can cope with the idea. How do I get out of this?
First of all, you alone have a right to decide whether or not your body can handle childbirth. If you believe you can't cope, your husband doesn't have a right to force that decision upon you. This is especially true based on what you have described because parenting has to be a combined effort. A man's work doesn't end with sex; it only begins. It seems as if your husband hasn't received that memo though, so I urge you to spell it out for him. It's 2020, not 1820, and he needs to understand that raising children by yourself isn't easy. If he isn't prepared to have that conversation, ask him to consider therapy before making what will undoubtedly be a life-altering decision for you both.

My boyfriend lives with his ex-girlfriend and I am not comfortable with the idea at all. They have been roommates for a long time, even before they began dating, but he continues with that arrangement only because it is financially viable and because they are still friends. Am I wrong to feel jealous?
Your feelings are perfectly viable, but it boils down to how much you trust your boyfriend. If he has no option, there's nothing either of you can do about this. If he does have an option and continues despite your discomfort, you need to call him out for it. I suggest you both lay your cards on the table."

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First Published: 18 August, 2020 06:55 IST

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