'I can't seem to find the right girl'

Updated: Aug 26, 2019, 08:19 IST | DR Love

I have dated four women in the past two years, and nothing has been very serious because we always broke up for the smallest reasons.

'I can't seem to find the right girl'
Illustrations/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI want to find someone I can get into a serious relationship with, but haven't been able to. I have dated four women in the past two years, and nothing has been very serious because we always broke up for the smallest reasons. I am not upset about that because I wasn't happy with them, but it worries me as I am in my late 20s and don't want to have an arranged marriage. I am afraid I will have no choice if I don't find someone I can connect with soon. What should I do?
You may want to take a break to try and evaluate what exactly you mean by a serious relationship, or what you have in mind when you think of someone you want this relationship with. Are you being honest with yourself and the women you date? Are you taking the time to consider why you get into a relationship, rather than simply declaring dissatisfaction later? Are you giving these women you date a chance? Do you believe an arranged marriage will solve these problems? Finding someone special depends upon what your expectations are and how hard you are willing to work for any relationship to succeed. There is no magic formula.

My mother has some issues with my wife for some reason, and this is leading to friction in our marriage. Is moving to a separate place of our own the only solution?
This depends entirely upon what the three of you want, and how you want to work towards it. You are all adults. If moving out is something that will make your wife and mother happy, and is a financially viable option, it is worth considering. This is a decision that can only be taken after you evaluate the impact on everyone involved though. Also, distance doesn't necessarily solve the problem between your mother and wife, so I would suggest you get the two of them to talk about that openly first.

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