I want someone as fabulous as me!

Updated: Jul 30, 2020, 04:51 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I know what I am looking for, and my standards are very high because I take care of myself and want someone who takes care of herself too

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DR LOveI am a 26-year old single guy and have been trying to find a girlfriend for a while now. I have met a lot of girls using dating apps, but none have made me interested enough to pursue a real relationship. I know what I am looking for, and my standards are very high because I take care of myself and want someone who takes care of herself too. This is disappointing me because it sometimes feels as if I will never find someone worthy of me. Am I being too unreasonable? Should I lower my standards just to be with someone?

If you feel as if you are being unreasonable, it may make sense to talk about expectations with those who know you best. There is nothing wrong with waiting for someone you genuinely like, but you have to try and evaluate whether your requirements are real or shallow. Ask yourself what you want out of a relationship. Is it a real connection or just someone pretty to spend time with? Be honest about your responses and think about what it means to be with someone you connect with, as opposed to someone who simply ticks off all boxes on a mental wishlist.

A former colleague of mine and I used to be great friends at the office before he quit. We weren't in a relationship even though some people thought we were because we were so close. He has been dating someone and recently asked me out for a movie. I don't know if he means this as something friends should do, or if he wants something more. Is it inappropriate? Should I tell him I am not comfortable or just meet him and see what he wants?

Why assume he wants something if you think of him as a close friend? If you aren't comfortable, why not simply give him your reasons and allow him to explain? People can be friends without being in a relationship. Why not ask him to bring his girlfriend along?

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