It's been 5 years, but I'm still not sure about him
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
Does it make sense for me to ask my boyfriend to marry me when I am not sure of how I really feel? We have been together for five years now, so I don't know if he just expects us to always be together. What should I do? I think he may ask me any time soon because we are not getting any younger and our parents and friends are beginning to wonder about us too.
Are you really ready to spend the rest of your life with someone you're not sure about, simply because you have spent five years with him? That call is yours entirely, provided you figure out what you want and what he really means to you. There doesn't seem to be anyone putting any sort of pressure on you to arrive at a decision.
I am confused about my current relationship. I think I only spend time with her because I have to, not because I have feelings for her. I am attracted to a lot of other girls, and it's always about their physical appearance. I want a healthy relationship but am unable to distinguish between genuine love and just physical attraction. What can I do about this?
— Sushilkumar P
It takes us all a while to distinguish between genuine emotion and physical needs that compel us to find attractive people. To do this with your girlfriend is unfortunate though, because you are being unfair to her as well as to yourself. If you can't distinguish between genuine love and attraction, you are under no pressure to commit to a relationship until you figure that out. Doesn't it make sense to get to try and get to know someone before you move to the next stage? If you don't have any feelings for your girlfriend, why do you continue with this? You are the only one in a position to do something about the way things are because no one else can evaluate your feelings for you. Try and be more honest with yourself.
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