My fiance is way too secretive...

Updated: 24 September, 2020 05:03 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

Despite the amount of time we have known each other, I know very little about his career, his financial situation, his extended family, and a few things that I believe are important for any wife to know.

Illustration/ Dr Love
Illustration/ Dr Love

DR LOveI have been dating a guy for around a year and we were recently engaged. Our wedding has been set for six months from now, but I have been having a lot of doubts because he is a very secretive person. Despite the amount of time we have known each other, I know very little about his career, his financial situation, his extended family, and a few things that I believe are important for any wife to know. He gives me vague answers and doesn't answer any of my questions directly. My parents are okay with this because they know his family well, but I find it worrying. Am I making a mistake?

Your parents aren't the ones getting married; you are. If you have questions that you believe are important to you, and information that you believe is your right as a wife, your fiancé owes you a reasonable explanation. If he isn't comfortable talking about something, that is his prerogative, but he needs to explain why. I suggest you tell him why this is bothering you and point out that secrecy is not a great way to start a new life together. Ultimately, if you don't feel comfortable, speak to family and friends, or rely on your instincts. This is a life-changing decision, so I would suggest you avoid doing anything you are not okay with.

My husband is more interested in his career than me, and spends hours working on office stuff even when he is at home. Our weekends just fly by with me sitting in front of a TV while he works. He told me he was a workaholic, but it makes me feel insignificant.

All workaholics seem to have trouble with priorities and need to be reminded, every once in a while, that the world will go on with or without them. If your husband is ready to sacrifice his marriage for his career, he needs to know that this may happen.

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First Published: 24 September, 2020 05:00 IST

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