My husband does not want to have sex with me

May 24, 2012, 06:26 IST | Dear Diana

Dear Diana, I guess there is something terribly wrong with my husband. We have been married for over a year but he just hates having a physical relationship and I'm not even talking about sex here. He doesn't like to be touched at all.

I can’t expect PDA from him under any circumstances. He’s normal otherwise when we talk and we do talk a lot. This weirdness often leaves me frustrated and questioning his sexual orientation. I don’t wish to lose him either as he’s a gem of a person and I may not get someone like him again in my life. But then, I don’t want to stay this way with him either. I tried talking but he doesn’t seem to acknowledge my grave concerns.
— Madhu

Illustration/ Amit Bandre

Dear Madhu,
Goodness heavens! Your hubby sure is weird that even after a year of marriage he has a touch-me-not attitude. As they say a guy always has sex on his mind! But your husband is truly unique. Is there something wrong with him? While your husband’s lack of desire is certainly a problem for you, it may not be for him. A man’s emotions usually have a huge impact on his sexual desire. Is he emotionally distant from you? Does he feel like a failure in any way, or does he lack confidence and therefore a lack of interest in sex. For a man, his sexual performance is very much tied to ego, so if he is not feeling good about himself it shows up in his approach to sexual intimacy with his wife. Check if he is in love with you or considers you as just a friend?  

Go to top