My mum meddles in my life too much
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I sometimes get the feeling that my mother constantly creates some drama or unnecessary issue in my life because she likes how this disrupts everything around her. She has become more intolerable after I got married, and her comments now hurt my husband and often lead to arguments between us. I don't expect her to change because she has been like this all her life, but I am tired of this and want it to stop before we have kids because I am worried that she will start to affect her grandchild's life too. How can I deal with her without being accused of being an ungrateful daughter?
This guilt we feel towards our parents stems from the mistaken belief that we must respect them no matter what they do. It conveniently allows a lot of bigoted people to get away with anything and everything, which is not okay. Your mother is an adult and must be treated like one irrespective of your relationship with her, especially if there is no legitimate reason for her behaviour. Tell her this is unacceptable and limit your interactions with her if there is no solution in sight. Your family and health are more important than a misplaced sense of guilt, and we should never get to a stage where we allow age to be used as an excuse for behaving inappropriately with other people. I know this sounds harsh and ruthless, but actions have consequences and one can never be too old to learn that lesson.
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