'She wants to marry me, but I need more time'

Jun 15, 2018, 08:00 IST | Dr Love

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'She wants to marry me, but I need more time'
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI am struggling to make my girlfriend understand that I don't want to marry her just yet, not because I don't love her, but because I need time to convince my parents. She refuses to get this. What do I do?
She will get it if she's a rational adult, but you should try and understand why she isn't willing to accept this explanation. Have you asked what her reasons are? Maybe she isn't convinced about something and needs some reassurance on that front.

I recently found out that my boyfriend of two years has been cheating on me. What makes this worse is that the girl is someone I thought of as a close friend. She pretends to care about me and they both act as if they are just good friends when I am around, so I didn't suspect a thing until someone else showed me proof. I am betrayed, angry and helpless because I don't know what to say to either of them. I want to end this relationship, of course, but I also want them to know that I am hurt and devastated by their actions. Should I confront them and ask for an apology or simply cut them out of my life without giving them an explanation? They may not care at all, but I think they should know how they have made me feel.
This depends on what you want to accomplish. Yes, getting them to recognise the pain they have caused you is important, because what they have both done is wrong. Will their apology change anything though? If this has been going on for a while, it's obvious that they have no remorse and don't take your pain seriously. You should tell them about the consequences of their actions, by all means, but don't expect their apology to be a sincere one. Also, you're right about not needing people like this in your life. The sooner you put this behind you, the better.

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