Should I settle for my best friend?

Updated: Sep 05, 2019, 07:04 IST | DR Love

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Illustrations/Uday Mohite
Illustrations/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been very confused about the relationship I am in. I have been dating a guy for a little over a year. I love him a lot, but it doesn't seem like the kind of thing that will last very long because neither of us are very attached to each other. Last week, my best friend told me he had feelings for me, and it got me thinking about what I want from my boyfriend. If this doesn't seem like a stable relationship, I would seriously consider dating my best friend because I believe we can make it work. What should I do?
I suppose the sensible thing to do would be to end the relationship you're in, if you don't take it seriously, and then spend some time with your best friend to try and understand what he feels. You may believe a relationship with him will work instantly given how close you are but being with a friend and being intimate with someone are two different things. Try and understand how things will change between the two of you, and what the risks are in the event of it not working out. Abandoning one relationship for another isn't a great idea. My advice is you take this one step at a time.

My girlfriend has an extremely possessive streak. She is jealous of a colleague of mine and has asked me not to speak to her again. This is someone I work with though, and need to interact with daily. My girlfriend doesn't get this and is adamant that I stop speaking to her or quit my job. How do I get her to be more reasonable?
Are you dating an adult or a child? Quitting an office for such a frivolous reason betrays your girlfriend's insecurity. Try and understand why she feels the way she does and evaluate if you're doing anything to prevent her from trusting you. This is less about your colleague and more about building trust in your relationship.

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