Tired of bailing out my boyfriend

Updated: Aug 23, 2019, 07:19 IST | DR Love |

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Dr LoveI am tired of my boyfriend's annoying habit of quitting every job after a few months. He says he loves what he does, but ends up leaving for the most trivial reasons. This would have been okay if I didn't have to jump in whenever he is between jobs and bail him out financially. I can't always pay for him because I have bills and responsibilities, too. He just doesn't seem to get that I don't always have the ability to manage his poor decisions. I love him a lot and it's not as if our relationship is in trouble, but I am always afraid that this will suddenly turn into a big issue. How do I get him to change the way he behaves?
You're right about the possibility of this becoming a big issue, because it is already taking a toll. Financial issues are often a serious cause of trouble in relationships, although most of them can be avoided with a bit of honesty. Your boyfriend is an adult and needs to understand that actions come with repercussions. If he constantly assumes you will be his security blanket and bail him out, you are part of the problem because you are getting in the way of him learning to be more responsible. I suggest you tell him that you can't bail him out anymore, and ask him to manage on his own the next time he quits. There's nothing like a healthy dose of reality to get someone to stop living in a fantasy world.

I am a single woman working in an office with a lot of single men. They flirt with me often, but I want to make sure there are boundaries. How do I do this?
Not responding to flirting and keeping things professional should send out a message loud and clear. Men don't always get this, unfortunately, because our culture gives them a misplaced sense of entitlement, but ignoring their advances for a few months should help get the message through.

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