On a side note, Im recommending, that even after the lockdown ends, we must have some new abbreviations
Illustration/Uday Mohite
%20(1).jpg)
And so, I've been WFH for 120 days. WFH, uhm… that's an abbreviation/acronym for 'working from home'. Millennials justify 'working from home' being whittled down to WFH because it takes a lot of effort to say, 'working from home'. So, in the #PreCOVID days, it was decided it was way cooler to have short forms for even shorter words. Example, 'whateves' is an abridgement for 'whatever', and OMG for 'Oh my God', and WTF for, you know what.
I mean, look, by the time you finish uttering, 'Coronavirus', you're out of breath. All of us aren't Shri Tharoor, right? I do feel all diseases should have tight names—flu (no one says influenza), cold, fever, TB (tuberculosis is too long)—I mean life is tough enough having to sweep-swab, dust, put on a PPE, wear a mask, and then to have to say 'Coronavirus', is exhausting. I do think even COVID needs an abbreviation! 'Virus' is too general, I feel—considering both Ebola and SARS are viruses. So, I'm thinking 'CV' is perfect. I mean, think about it. Considering CV is so impactful, just like BC (before Christ) and AD (Anno Domini), we need an abbreviation like 'CV' so we can say 2022 CV, after we discover a vaccine and life goes back to the new normal.
ADVERTISEMENT
On a side note, I'm recommending, that even after the lockdown ends, we must have some new abbreviations. Housewives who've finally got their husbands to help out at home with jhadoo pocha, need to narrow it down to 'JP'. "Suresh honey, before heading off to work, can you do a quick 'JP'!"
Therefore, I'm concerned, there isn't a short for the word 'lockdown'. How much breath would have been saved if lockdown had been simplified down to a simple 'LD'. Take this sentence. "Boss! I'm seriously 'pakaoed', major 'bheja fry' with this lockdown". Imagine a simpler, "Boss! I'm seriously 'PKD', major 'BF' with this 'LD". And the answer to that is either 'M2' (Me Too), YCSTA (You can say that again) or YM (Yeah man).
On a further note, now that we have learnt that 'CV' is airborne, and droplets from our mouth is the main cause of transferring the infection, all defence ministries will have discovered a new weapon—the cough and the sneeze. They will not require bombs, no nukes needed, you just cruise over enemy territory and let out almighty sneezes.
Paratroopers will fly over enemy territory and spit. In battle fields over the world, in disputed territories, soldiers will carry no ammunitions or guns, they will just wear masks and when their orders are, "Fire!", an incredible ball of spittoon will be loaded on the backs on their throats and Boom! they will unload.
When one man wishes to threaten another, he will just menacingly threaten to lower his mask. No more will world leaders engage in the 'who blinked first' conflict, it'll be 'who coughed first' with hands poised threateningly on masks.
A new Cold War is taking shape and a new WMD is being created.
It's called The Spitfire.
Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com
Catch up on all the latest Mumbai news, crime news, current affairs, and a complete guide from food to things to do and events across Mumbai. Also download the new mid-day Android and iOS apps to get latest updates.
Mid-Day is now on Telegram. Click here to join our channel (@middayinfomedialtd) and stay updated with the latest news
Subscribe today by clicking the link and stay updated with the latest news!" Click here!
