Why is he lying about his past?
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I am engaged to a guy I have known since college. We were not together at the time, and only got to know each other better a few years ago. A few weeks ago, I found out that he was dating a classmate of mine back then, which I knew nothing about because we barely spoke in those years. I asked him about this girl, and he dismissed it saying it was just a rumour. Two of my friends say he was definitely serious about her though, so I don't know why he is denying this. I am not worried about whether he was dating or not, but I am concerned about why he isn't open enough to admit this happened. If this is how he is with someone he is going to marry, I am worried about our future. What should I do?
You're probably being a little hasty here. If you aren't worried about his past, that's great. If you're worried about him saying something different from what two of your friends say, you have to decide if you want to accept their version or the one coming from someone who was actually in that supposed relationship. Why assume he will lie about everything? I suggest you evaluate your present with him, and how you see him. Think about his behaviour with you, whether you love, trust and respect him, and whether he does too. Open and honest communication will take time, and he may simply admit to a different version of the past when he is ready.
My girlfriend hates it when I smoke but was okay with it before we began dating. Isn't this hypocritical?
This is something that affects her health as well as your own, so shouldn't you worry about the impact of your habit instead of her behaviour? She may have been okay with it then, but probably can't stand it now. Since when is changing one's mind a sign of hypocrisy?
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