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Home > Brand Media News > Why do we allow female celebs to be stalked by exes

Why do we allow female celebs to be stalked by exes?

Updated on: 24 March,2022 12:06 PM IST  |  Mumbai
BrandMedia | brandmedia@mid-day.com

Watching Trevor Noah talk about the Kanye/ Kim stalking situation last week was eye opening.

Why do we allow female celebs to be stalked by exes?

All this woman did was move on but her ex-husband continues to harass her, and threaten her new boyfriend, Pete Davidson. For some reason we were ok with it because she’s famous? We were. I’ve been one of the people consuming her being publicly abused as if it were a reality show until now.


Which led to the horrific realization that for the last year I’ve helped a Youtuber do the same to another woman: Nicole Arbour.


Recording artist Nicole has had success in her career amassing over 1.5 billion views. She’s had some controversial comedy videos but has never been seen actually doing anything “bad.” I know, because I dug. You’d think it would be easy to find proof of poor behavior when there is so much online hate about her from stalker type men. None. An erratic video outside of her in comedic character? No. Being rude in an interview? The opposite. Arbour remains calm while being unfairly berated.


And yet, we have consumed Nicole being abused as entertainment because she has followers? Because on Youtube it’s ok?

There’s something wrong here.

It’s easy to find youtuber Ryan Upchurch’s obsessive posts about Nicole. His “receipts” of her wrongdoing were Nicole allegedly texting for him to come back and talk it out after an argument. That’s adult, and healthy. Yet he continues to mercilessly declare Nicole ugly (she’s gorgeous) and insane to his millions of followers while posting edits of her videos from over a decade ago. Textbook obsessive behavior.

Imagine you knew a Youtuber a few weeks, then he posted hundreds of times about you for a year. Imagine this person did everything to hurt your reputation. When you are googled by employers or dates, it now says you’re “psychotic.” Maybe you lose the job or can’t get a job because of it. How could you fight back? He lied to millions.

Upchurch even claimed the judge “threw out” the restringing order Miss Arbour received against him flashing a gun and laughing at her to the camera. Scary. But court documents from Tennessee prove Ryan was lying. Miss Arbour moved to dissolve it under a promise from Upchurch to leave her alone.

Instead, the harassment intensified. The court case against Ryan Upchurch is still ongoing while he posts harassing Nicole.

He did this to his ex-girlfriend singer Katie Noel as well. Once she moved on, he made hundreds of posts trying to “destroy her whole life.”

Which brings me to us as society taking a look at ourselves. I’m guilty of watching Kim and Nicole be harassed while thinking it’s harmless because the women are beautiful and successful. I was wrong. We can wear ribbons and use hashtags but if we allow women to be harassed by obsessed exes for entertainment, we are not much better than the perpetrators themselves.

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