diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012
Dear Diana,
So I'm dating this guy for seven months now, but the catch is that we both live in different cities, miles away from each other. He asked me out over the net. I don't know what I was thinking and I said yes. He says that he'll be coming over to my city after a year for further studies.
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And I don't think I can handle a long distance relationship, I'm too young for it (16 yrs, the same age as he is). But I can't bring myself to break this guy's heart. I don't think he can take it. And I also want to always be in touch with him but he says that if we break up he could never have the guts to talk to me or face me. I don't know what to do. I'm really confused and messed up!! Kindly advise.
Confused
Dear Friend,
It's not a decision you can sidestep. Although, it's only a question of one year. You could make that decision after a year.
Then, you needn't suffer the anguish that comes with being in a long-distance relationship. It looks like he's really in it for the long haul. Of course, it's obvious that he's passionate and sensitive yet very understanding. So it's quite clear why you don't want to let go of him.
And besides, you chose to get into a relationship too soon. Instead of breaking up, why not take a break. Talk and write of each other less often, so that each strand of communication becomes a much-awaited event. That will buy you time to figure out where you want to be at the end of the year.
If you do break up with him, he just might disappear from your life. What matters now is how you deal with the situation.
Yeh bhi hai, woh bhi hai...
Dear Diana,
I am a 25-year-old. I have been married two years and have a child too. My marriage took place under difficult circumstances.
I do care for my wife and child but have been in love with a girl since before my marriage and still am. We got physical and now the girl wants me to marry her or else she says she'll commit suicide.
She has cut herself before. Also, I don't want to lose either of them. Please suggest a way out!
Name withheld on request
Dear Friend,
There are some things that you should dabble in only if you have the guts to. An extra-marital affair is always serious business and especially so, when the future of a child is involved.
Also, the law (at large) doesn't permit you to indulge in polygamy (unless you belong to certain communities). So you had no business promising your lover that things will get better; they won't.
Whatever the situation, no wife would like to share her husband with another woman, one he has been visiting behind her back.
Should my bro back out?
Dear Diana,
My brother's marriage date was fixed last month. He is a very creative and ambitious person, being a software engineer and great music enthusiast and wanted his soul mate to be of the same type.
When he first met the girl, he though he had made the correct choice. My brother now feels that she is not at all ambitious, doesn't want to work after marriage unlike what she committed to before the marriage was fixed.
u00a0
He has also observed a impulsive and short-tempered streak in her and now feels that his choice was not right. There are three months left to the marriage... Should he ignore her behaviour or cull the marriage plans?
Vivek
Dear Vivek,
Your brother knows specifically what he wants from a spouse. And when he doesn't see those traits in a potential wife, he can very well back out.
Also, it isn't too late if he opens up and tells her that she changed since he last met her and that, in turn could affect the possibility of this marriage ever taking place.
It makes no sense to go ahead with something you aren't comfortable with. Ask him to have a long, hard talk with your parents ASAP to know and understand the implications of what can be done.
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