Don't wanna leave my wife or my newfound love...

Dear Diana,
I have been married for the last nine years. We don't have children. Six months ago, I met someone and I have fallen deeply in love with her. We have started to see each other more regularly. She is also married. We meet as often as we can.

And we both want the same thing. She doesn't want to leave her husband and kids. I too don't want to leave my wife, though my relationship with her has become very routine. I think that's why I started looking elsewhere.

But I don't mean to hurt my wife even though I am very much in love with my new girl. I guess my real question is... do I stick with my partner knowing that my new girl will NEVER leave her husband... or do I ask my new girl just how deeply she cares for me? Should I ask her if she sees a future with me instead?

Name withheld on request
Dear Friend,
All relationships go through boring and exciting periods. You have been together nine years and went looking for something thrilling, and you found it.

But now there's another problem. She doesn't want to leave her husband. Perhaps, like you she is going through a low phase in her marriage but she hopes it will get better.
u00a0
Meanwhile, you seem to be just a little distraction on the side. You are providing the spice that is missing from her marriage.

Before you think about breaking up your marriage for her, let her know that you are happier with her and you are thinking of leaving your wife.

My hunch is she won't leave her husband. Also, maybe you should try talking to your wife about spicing up your marriage. If you decide to finish your affair you can concentrate on getting back the magic you had nine years ago.

I want to lose weight and get my boyfriend back

Dear Diana,
I am 19. I am on the chubby side, and want to lose weight. My boyfriend and I split up, and I want to get into shape and win him back.

What are the best ways to make yourself vomit and how fast does it make you skinnier? I need help and my friend tells me that vomitting is the fastest way. So just tell me how.
u00a0
Simi
Dear Simi,
First of all, don't lose weight for him, lose it for yourself. And not by throwing up. You can lose weight by exercising everyday for one hour and by simply changing what you eat. Have more fruit, salads, fish, chicken etc.

Cut out junk food and desserts, and you will see the difference within a month. You will lose loads if you eat only 1000-1500 calories every day. Follow simple rules. Avoid alcohol and finish eating your meal before 8 pm.

Stop competing with other guys?

Dear Diana,
I am 19, single, and need to understand how girls choose a guy. When I'm talking to a girl I like, I wonder if I'm good enough.

When I see another guy talking to her and she appears to be enjoying herself, I wonder what makes him better than me.

So it's like I'm in a kind of competition with other guys andu00a0 those guys get all or most of the girls they want. Do I need to stop competing, not just for my own sanity, but because that's the right thing to do?

D Ladha
Dear Friend,
Ditch the idea that you're in competition with other guys. On an average, say five guys a week come up to a girl and try to make a good impression.

It gets a bit boring and none of them stand out or seem to 'spark' it off with you. Women are naturally drawn to guys who come across as easy going and comfortable in their own skin.

If she talks to you after a few minutes, and is interested in talking to you and not looking at the exit then you ARE good enough. Don't let it hurt your confidence if you have a few failures.