My boyfriend and I are both 21 years old
Dear Diana,
My boyfriend and I are both 21 years old. He introduced me to his parents late last year. They took an instant liking to me and I thought I was all set. His mom and I even became the best of friends and we have even shopped together quite often. I've gotten myself into a bad situation, though. His father and I got along a little too well and before we knew it, six months on (until now) we have been having sex on the sly, sometimes when no-one's in the house.
My boyfriend recently proposed marriage and I am feeling rotten inside. Now, I do love my boyfriend but his father (he's 50 years old)... he makes me feel safe, taken care of, and most importantly beautiful. I don't know why I'm doing this. I'm confused and all messed up in the head at the same time. I knew exactly what I was doing and was loving every moment of it. He seduced me, though.
And I just didn't resist. Although, I don't think it would remain a secret for too long if I did marry my boyfriend. Though it would be quite convenient for me, I don't know what to do with myself. I feel terrible about this!
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Some things are just wrong. What your boyfriend's dad and you did is one. You might well put it down to the inexperience and naivete of youth but remember, such affairs never end well. And consider this, if you do marry your boyfriend, and continue the affair with your then father-in-law, you would never live it down. Well, you might today and tomorrow perhaps but eventually it will come back to bite you. People trust in you and love you. You don't betray them in the name of something you think is love.
For all the benefits of having an older man as a lover, having one this close to home, won't bode well. And don't make this a blame game or feel like killing yourself over it. My advice would be to stop being selfish and end the affair while it isn't too late. Or turn down your boyfriend's proposal of marriage. Either way, you will not leave any damage in your wake. Continue as you are, and there's no saying where this could end or how badly.
Never masturbated before...
Dear Diana,
I am 16 and have never masturbated before. All my friends say they do it but I am afraid to. Is it a sin to do so and will I have any health problems if I do? They have told me how to. Should I try?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Masturbation is a form of sexual releasure where you pleasure yourself to an ejaculatory orgasm. Is it a sin? No. Any health problems if you masturbate? No. Although, I would suggest using a lubricant when you do and keep clean before and after the act.
What to be: good son or good husband?
Dear Diana,
I usually tend to take my mother's side when she and my wife have arguments. Also, I am most concerned for her as I am all she's got (I am an only child). I place her priorities above all the priorities in my life. My wife thinks I am a "momma's boy". Now, my mother has singlehandedly brought me up after my father left us and has never let me know want. I do think it is quite unkind of my wife to say these things despite knowing all this. She comes from a family where she was a pampered brat. I feel I am stuck between being a good son and a good husband.
Umed
Dear Umed,
When you argue with your wife, she is going to say something hurtful because she knows it will affect you. You share a close bond with your mother and are deeply attached to her because of the many sacrifices she has made to raise you to be the man you are today. I am sure she wants your happiness more than anything and would more than willingly not initiate arguments with your wife. I hope she isn't unreasonable in her arguments. Also, you might want to have to have a word with someone your wife listensu00a0 to, though. It would help if someone elderly from her family could make her understand that she has to adjust to her new surroundings.u00a0u00a0
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