I told you about my relationship
Dear Diana,
I told you about my relationship ('Shaadi? More time please!'; March 11). When I asked him if he would really marry me, he said yes. After that, he said that he doesn't believe in saying but in doing. And so, he will marry me this year. But following this, his behaviour has changed.
One day, he told me that he was in the office but I confirmed from his office but they told me he was on leave. I confronted him over this and he said that he was in office and that the people at his office were lying. I asked him if he has any other girlfriend, he said no and that he only loves me. All this depresses me and I love him a lot. Now I feel that he never cares for me and my emotions.
As of now, we work in different companies and he has said he WILL marry me. Should I tell his family this? Please help me, sometimes I feel there is nothing in my life without him. He doesn't want to talk about this and says he will marry me and to leave it at that!
Alisha
Dear Alisha,
It's just your suspicious mind working overtime. If he has promised to wed you, and you need some sort of a sign of a commitment from him, ask that you two get engaged. You can always marry when you want to, or break off the engagement if it doesn't work out.
I find it wierd that he should have to lie to you, but it could simply be that you spoke to someone who didn't know where he was at the time or someone who doesn't like him. Give him the benefit of doubt this once, and see how it goes.
He shouldn't have to keep assuring you of his faithfulness. It really isn't fair to him. All this back and forth may be depressing you, but you have to understand that you aren't making it any easier on him. Hold him to his word and stop making such au00a0 fuss over all this.
But I want to be married and have a girlfriend!
Dear Diana,
I've been happily married for the last 11 years. Everything is on the right track. I met a girl six months back, itu00a0 started with friendship and we have now fallen in love with each other. I don't know what to do. She knows that I am married and always insists that we don't grow too close. But it is difficult for me as I am only thinking of her right now. What should I do in such a situation. I don't want to lose my wife and my girlfriend.
Rakesh
Dear Rakesh,
You're happily married by your own account. Why spoil something good by having an extramarital affair? It seems you're getting greedy while your girlfriend is being realistic. You're married and you can't compel her to stay on in the affair with you if she doesn't want to. After 11 years together, if you look for change, it better had be platonic. Or else, things are bound to get complicated.
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