I am being drawn to a long lost love

Dear Diana,

I am 33, married, have a child and live in the US. I fell crazily in love with a guy while in college, until he took a break for a couple years from studies. We stayed in touch on and off and then finally broke up as the relationship wasn't going anywhere. We didn't get back together on his return. I graduated.
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He graduated too and moved on with his life. I waited and finally got married to the first guy my parents introduced me to and moved to the US. I am married to a good man who takes care of me and my kid and is committed to the family.

I am happy with what life has brought me and I try my best as a wife and mother. I would never leave my family for anything in the world. But it's been 14 long years and neither of us has forgotten about the other. I recently met him on a social networking site through a common friend. We have been communicating and there are too many hints that he still loves me and is hurting inside. He is married and has a child. I have been curious for long and I think it is drawing us to each other. What do I do?

Name withheld on request



Dear Friend,

As you've said before, you're happy; don't do anything to jeopardize what you have for what you could have. At most times, it's simply not worth all the heartache. In any case, you broke up with this guy because the relationship was going nowhere. What guarantee is there that anything would have changed in 14 years? He might seem hurt or worse, but how does that concern you now.

Besides, for two people 'crazily in love' to just give up and then throw subtle hints that something could work out if they met, is downright silly.u00a0 You loved this guy, by all means, don't forget him. But don't go destroying your marriage to work on the probability of a relationship that was never really meant to be. Tread safely.

My bhabhi is out to destroy us

Dear Diana,

A year ago, we got our brother married. Now his wife has lodged a case against our brother and us; among other things, she has also filed a case under Section 498A. We're two married sisters (I'm writing on her her behalf). She's out to destroy our family. What can we do?

Sushila

Dear Sushila,

I'm no lawyer, and will only be able to point you in the right direction. If you have access to the internet, google 'IPC Section 498A' and follow relevant links to understand what this section of the Indian Penal Code means and what you can do to protect yourself from ending up a victim (if you feel you have done nothing wrong).
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I have no idea why this woman has filed a case against you and I have no way of knowing if you are guilty of the accusations levied against you. All I can suggest is you understand the kind of problem you're facing as a result of these charges being brought up against you. And do hire a good lawyer.

Can't hold out much longer

Dear Diana,

I am 21 while my boyfriend is 28. Within three months of being in a relationship, we find ourselves deeply attached to each other. Trouble is, we cannot marry because our castes differ. He still loves me a lot, though. He wanted to get physical with me but I refused to. But I really love him and may not be able to stop him for too long.

Sweety

Dear Sweety,

Don't give in that easly. If sex is all he wants from you and a committment (like marriage) is just a white elephant he's using as bait, you could get into trouble. It's your body and I sincerely believe what you do with it should be solely for you to decide. If you want to give yourself completely to someone, you ought not to have any doubts whatsoever. All I'm saying is: proceed with extreme caution.