I am gay, but I don't want to be one. What shall I do?

Dear Diana,
I am an 18-year-old guy and single. For some time now, I have known that I am gay. But I am yet to reveal this to my family or friends because I am confused.
u00a0
I don't want to be gay. I have nothing against homosexuality but I feel it is not meant for me.

I want to be 'normal' like all my other friends. I want to be attracted to girls and one day, even get married and have kids.
u00a0


I know all this is not possible as I am gay. Nobody knows my secret but it is killing me and ruining what's supposed to be the best years of my life (teenage) and also messing my social life.

I used to be very talkative, but now I barely interact with anyone at all. I am depressed and wanna turn straight but don't know where to start.

Name withheld on request
Dear friend,
There's nothing wrong in being gay. It is as normal to be gay as it is to be straight. First you need to accept that fact. Then you will also have to understand and accept that if you really are indeed gay, there is no magic solution to turn you straight.
u00a0
You can suppress your feelings and desires for some extent, but that will probably only make you even more miserable in the long run. You might fulfill your dream and even get married to a woman someday but such relationships, in the long term, don't last.
u00a0
You will only end up breaking her heart and ruining an innocent life.u00a0 You should love who your heart tells you to love. Doing otherwise and/or suppressing it only causes suffering.

Nothing official about our love...
Dear Diana,
I have been with this guy now for a year, but we are not a couple. He won't commit to me. I haven't met his family, or he mine.

He is in love with me, but why doesn't he want to make this official? He talks about our future and says he wants to be with me forever. I love him, but Iu00a0 just want more security. What to do?

Alpana
Dear Alpana,
It sounds to me as though he cares for you a great deal, but in the back of his mind wants to keep his options open.
u00a0
It is possible that he loves you, but if he isn't willing to commit to you, then love alone won't take you anywhere. Try to talk to him, but consider looking for a new man.

My best friend hurt me, should I forgive her?

Dear Diana,
I am 21. A while ago, my best friend of 12 years slept with myu00a0 boyfriend. I broke up with him, and stopped speaking to her.

Eventually I forgave her. Now she slept with another ex of mine, who she knew I still care deeply for. She said it was a drunken mistake on both of their parts.

She is begging me to forgive her, and her apologies seem sincere, but I don't know what to do. She is meant to be the one person who doesn't hurt me, yet she does it time and time again. Is it time I just walk away and forget her?

Dolly
Dear Dolly,
No matter how drunk I was, I still wouldn't touch a friend's boyfriend with a 6 foot long pole. No friend would. And she's done thisu00a0 twice! As the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
u00a0
Your "friend" can't be trusted and friendship is based on trust. It is best to just cut all ties and move on. You deserve better people in your life!

I always endorse forgiveness, but you have done this once before. I wouldn't call anyone who thinks so little of causing you pain a true friend.