I am in love with a girl from another state
Dear Diana,
I am in love with a girl from another state. We also don't belong to the same religion. I am married and have a three-month-old son, but my wife cannot adjust with my family.
Neither does she talk to me nor to any family member. She won't take responsibility for anything and even quarrels with my mom over small things. I have decided to marry my girlfriend but she says she won't convert. If all goes well, will we be happy?
Name withheld on request
Dear Friend,
You've written in before by another name and had the same problem with your wife. You haven't separated from or divorced her since. On the contrary, you've even had a child with her. How do you expect me to believe that you're ready for divorce when you aren't really ready for marriage? You expect the woman to change for you. Why should she when you're as selfish.
I don't see what she sees in you. I wonder how you got a child without sharing so much as word with your wife? I don't think you'll be happy if you marry this girlfriend of yours. In fact, I think she'll be unhappier. Besides, would she care for the child you now have, as her own, should you win custody of the child?
Too sweet to be a boyfriend
Dear Diana,
I have many female friends but have been single for a long time. The reason is usually the same: I'm too nice or too sweet. I find it absolutely stupid that women are giving me this reason to avoid a relationship. Am I actually doing something wrong or is it a problem with these women?
Sebu
Dear Sebu,
How does being too nice / too sweet create a problem for your popularity with the women? I guess the answer to that question lies in one indisputable fact: that perfection is in the eye of the beholder. Be a little unpredictable sometimes. Create an aura of mystery that will keep your friends guessing. Being straightforward all the time will get you nowhere.
I'm just a sexual object to him
Dear Diana,
The boy I love thinks of me as nothing but a sex object. In the eight months that we have been together, we have never made love; it has always been meaningless sex. I am not one to complain (the sex is great, BTW) but I feel that there ought to be more to this bond we share. It can't continue like this!
Name withheld on request
Dear Friend,
The trouble starts when you allow yourself to be objectified. You don't seem sure of what it is you want from this "bond". Your lover, on the other hand, knows exactly what he wants from you and is going about exacting that from you. Speak up. Make yourself heard. Tell him you expect more than just meaningless sex. It might not end well but at least you won't feel like you're being taken for a ride (no puns intended).
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