Diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012
Dear Diana,
My wife of 10 years passed away a year back. Now I have fallen in love with another woman. She loves me too but I don't know what if we should act on the way we feel about each other.
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I have lots of memories of her which I am not able to forget. But I am sure I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman.
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I also have a five year old daughter and I don't know how I am going to explain this to her. She is still to come to terms with her mother's death.
Even my family and friends are against me for falling in love with someone so quickly. But love just happened, it's not like I went looking for her. What do I do?
Mihir
Dear Mihir,
I don't think you should feel guilty about finding love again. Yes, a year seems too soon by society standards but then who decides whether it is too soon?
Who made up thoseu00a0 rules? You feel what you feel. You can't make your heart feel something you don't. Just be sure, you do really love this woman, and it is not the need of companionship. It isn't as if you are replacing your wife.
My only worry is that your daughter might not take it this well. For her sake, I'd say wait a while. Slowly introduce this new woman to her, as a friend, let them get to know each other for a few months, and then you can disclose your plans to your little girl.
Also, I forsee a problem if that doesnt happen. You've just come out of mourning, and you surely don't want to be in a situation where your daughter hates the woman you want to marry. Take things slow, and eventually it will all fall into place.
My boyfriend's friends are cheats...
Dear Diana,
I am seeing this guy for the last three months. He is really sweet and we get along really well. I have met his friends and that is the problem.
All his friends are cheats, I discovered during a boozy evening out with them. Is this a warning of what our relationship will be like in the future? Is cheating contagious?
Aneeta
Dear Aneeta,
It is not contagious. But, I will tell you that guys can be influenced. After all you hang with the kind of people who are like you, or have similar tastes and mind set.
Not to say that will always happen. But they do say there is something to be said about the company you keep. Good luck.
Is this married man interested in me?
Dear Diana,
A married male acquaintance of mine, often flirts with me. He touches me as well.
On the arm, occasionally a stroke on my back Now he works in my friend's gourmet restaurant. I go there sometimes to get a take away salad.
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Now he doesn't take money from me I thanked him and he smiled back. Now should I be cautious of this man, as in continue taking free meals?
Or is that giving out the wrong signals? Two times, I bumped into him outside his work environment and we exchanged friendly chat. What should I do?
Pranali
Dear Pranali,
This man obviously has some kind of feelings for you. Or maybe he just has a roving eye. Although men act in different ways.
u00a0
I strongly advise against accepting any free meals from him. Perhaps he thinks you might return the favour one of these days.
Why do you even want to get involved with a married man? You don't want to be the girl a man cheats on his wife with. Just put yourself in his wife's shoes.
If you were married how would you feel about a girl with whomu00a0 your husband cheated on you? Nothing wrong with a friendly chat. Ask him about his wife, the next time you chat. That ought to send him a message.
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