I lost my true love, thanks to one dirty SMS

Dear Diana,
I've been seeing my girlfriend for about three months. I screwed up in the beginning by sending a sexual message to another woman.

I didn't put much thought into the statement. Well anyway my girl saw it and was naturally upset. How can I reassure her that I'm not intou00a0 those types of things? I truly love this woman.

AP
Dear AP,
First impressions are lasting but hopefully you can recover from this. Don't tell her it meant nothing.



Accept that you messed up. Explain to her that this was a one off thing, and assure her you won't do it again. Incredibly stupidu00a0 to risk your relationship for "nothing".

She will always wonder if there was something lacking in your relationship that you sent a dirty text to a random girl. Be ready to deal with her negative, hurtful thoughts. This might take time to return to normal.u00a0

She might take time to get over it and to trust you again. Offer to change your number, and/or delete your previous "women" from it. As someone said, it's actions not words that are important. An unwise action caused the problem.

So roll your sleeves up and get to work with actions if you want to rebuild a stronger relationship. Be the best you can be and I hope things work out.

Get to know her first, propose later
Dear Diana,
I am eighteen, and I like this girl, but I don't know how to tell her. I know I should be myself but what should I do? Should I tell her something when none of her friends are around?

Also how and what should I say? I have a feeling she may like me too, but one of her friends said she doesn't like me and I hope she doesn't cause problems. For the past three weeks she's almost always on my mind. Help!

Ajay
Dear Ajay,
I would say, start off by being friends and getting to know her. A lot of times you may like someone from far but when we get to know them, you may realise that you both have nothing in common.

Don't start off by telling her that you like her. Don't worry about her friend causing trouble. If she likes you, she will give you a chance.

Start by hanging out with her and her friends then draw her out, when she gets comfortable in your company.

Why did he stop calling me?
Dear Diana,
I met this guy at a bar, and he bought me a drink. He flirted with me but when I told him I was 17, he walked away. A few weeks later he called, and for three hours we just talked. For days, we texted back and forth (I always texted first, except once).

We then decided to hang out and we never did, as the first time I cancelled because I wasn't ready. Then I called, and he was busy. After that he never called.

So we just decided to be friends, and I deleted his number because I liked him and didn't want the temptation to text him. I am 18 now and he is turning 22.

Did he walk away because of the age difference? Is there a problem? Why did he flirt with me then all of a sudden just leave?

R
Dear R,
The age difference couldn'tu00a0 have something to do with it, maybe he decided that at 17 you were underage. But the main problem is, I think, just you having expectations. You see flirting as a declaration of intent, a sort of promise of better things to come... and some times it is so, but not that often.
u00a0
For a lot of people, flirting is flirting, it does not mean anything special. It's a pastime, a sport, a way to feel good about yourself, a habit. It does not really have to mean something more.

Particularly if he had been drinking. A guy who is interested in you will be much more proactive in pursuing you and won't let so many chances of meeting you pass him by.
u00a0
Don't be mad and don't be sad these things happen to everybody. Next time just do not get your hopes so high up.