I am 25 years old. My girlfriend and I have been together a year
Dear Diana,
I am 25 years old. My girlfriend and I have been together a year. The first six months were fantastic, but in the past six months, we seem to have run out of steam and I can steadily see our relationship falling apart. We get into arguments almost on a daily basis, which puts a lot of stress on both of us, which is even worse because we work at the same job together. The real problem is complicated.
In college, I had a crush on her older sister, who is a year younger than me, while my girlfriend is three years younger than me. Back then, she never took me seriously. Now, my girlfriend's elder sister has a job at the same place we do and I'm working more and more shifts with her, and have developed a serious crush on her again.
I've discovered that we have similar interests and we agree that the issues I fight with my girlfriend over, are genuine. Now I know there is no chance of dating her now, but I just feel horrible feeling this way about her while also being in a relationship with her younger sister. What do I do?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
You're treading on dangerous ground here. Your girlfriend would immediately know if you tried to ask her sister out. There's no way to act on your feelings and tell the older sister how you have truly felt (and still feel) about her without your girlfriend knowing. Besides, you don't even know if she feels the same way about you.
Crushes are temporaryu00a0-- they come and go. This too will pass. Love is more permanent. Don't let the crush become anything more serious than it has to be. Also, you could take more time with your girlfriend to do "couple-stuff" so that you two can reconnect and find that spark that seems lost for now.
You can continue to be friends with the elder sister and share a comfort level with her, but as you already understand and are aware ofu00a0-- dating her elder sis is simply out of the question.u00a0
I can't trust anyone ever again!
Dear Diana,
I was dating this girl for a while, but she hooked up with somone else, got pregnant and basically started pretending I didnt exist. She ignored all my texts and didn't answer her phone when I called. We were extremely close and my question is:u00a0 feeling as betrayed as I do, how can I ever trust someone like that again?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Trusting another person is taking the choice to make yourself deliberately vulnerable to possible pain or heartbreak. In any case, we must all at some point take that risk with the ones we care about.
What you need to do is not to carry your baggage from a past relationship forward into the next, each time you meet a new person, treat them on their own merits, not on what someone else had do to you in the past. Just chalk it up to a life lesson. If you repeat it, then you didn't learn anything from the last girl.
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