Diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

My girlfriend gets very jealous easily, what to do?

Dear Diana,
I have been with my girlfriend for over a year now. I really love her but the problem is that she is very jealous and possessive. She wants me to stop talking to all my friends male and female. I had this best friend who I'd known for the last six months, who told me one day that she has strong feelings for me.

My girl found out and was irritated and would get angry with me if I spoke to her. She said it hurt, so I stopped speaking to this other girl. To be honest, I am very jealous too.
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I hate it when other guys flirt with her and I get jealous when she goes out with friends, but I don't show it. But our jealousy is causing problems. It makes us argue lots and I simply don't know how to come around it. Any advice?

ABC
Dear Friend,
Jealousy is such a waste of time really. So many relationships fall apart because of it. All I can tell you is that if a person is extremely possessive and jealous, there is little you can do to change that. It stems from insecurity.

And that only they themselves can fix it. It's nice that you keep a check on your jealous feelings. I don't think it is fair on part of your girl to dictate who you should talk to. Tell her you won't have that. Because if you give in now, the situation will only get worse with time.

Sit her down and have a serious discussion with her. Tell her that she has to trust you, and if she doesn't, then this relationship isn't going anywhere. Hopefully she will see her folly and try to change.

My guy doesn't like safe sex

Dear Diana,
My friends say guys think better of a girl who won't have sex without a condom? I am all for safe sex but my guy isn't always happy about it.

I thought it would be something he would appreciate but he doesn't want to always wear a condom.

GP
Dear GP,
Why care what the guy thinks you should never, ever engage in unprotected sex EVER! There is always a chance of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

If a guy can't respect your decision to want to use protection, drop him.

I want a baby now, he wants to wait

Dear Diana,
I have been with my guy for two years now, we live together and both have good jobs. I am 22. We've talked about having children but he wants to wait till I am in my 30s because he wants us to enjoy being young together, but doesn't what I want matter? I am ready to have a baby, both mentally and physically.

I am willing to wait for a couple of years but not 10! I am not the sort of girl to come off contraception without telling him.

Also, leaving him is not an option, as we are both committed and he's literally my whole world. I love him so much, I just don't know how to broach the subject with him. Any help?

Ruby
Dear Ruby,
You both have to meet midway. I agree with him that 22 is young and you can't make him want a baby, if he wants to wait. But having a baby in the 30s is late. Maybe you can wait for about 3 years and he can come ahead by three years.

Meanwhile, without nagging him about it, bring up the I-want-a-baby subject every year. Don't pressure him, just kind of check if he feels differently, I don't think he'll wait for 10 years. I know you really want one, but once you have a baby there's no unhaving it.

You'll never be able to enjoy your youth the same way again. Relationships are about compromise, so together you should work towards finding a solution that you are both confortable with. All the best.

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