It's been seven years since I began identifying with the term gay and with each passing year I've been tagged and (mis)understood as someone new.
It's been seven years since I began identifying with the term gay and with each passing year I've been tagged and (mis)understood as someone new.
Confusing right? Well that's just how the whole jargon of identity has evolved, rather, been structured to be self-contained and proudly confusing.
It all began a few years ago, when suddenly, like our cultural big brothers yonder (the west that is, U.S.A if you want me to spell it out); we began to consider bisexuality as the new coolest thing in town. Everyone I knew, who had the slightest inclination towards the sexual liberation camp was now spanking new bisexual. The same people had just discovered homosexuality and its relative coolness just a season ago and now they were back to swinging both ways. "Back to square one," I thought and hoped that the phase would disappear soon and it did. In no time, actually a year or so, we were all back to being 'gay and proud'. But would this period of bulls eye spot on inclinations last? Not really.
Looking back I now wonder if it actually was a phase that was in passing or did it have something to do with the irrefutable fact that we were all growing up? Does age have anything at all to do with the decisions we make and is it even something that needs consideration?
Seven years hence, today I stand happily (un)confused. I have seen more 'sexuality confused' people (in less than a decade) with enough issues that need sorting out to last me a whole lifetime.u00a0 Bisexuality soon paved way for fluid sexuality, which paved way for pan-sexuality and whole bunch of such sexuality concoctions that are surprisingly, dictionary defined!
How does all this affect me as a gay man? Simply put the lack of prospective partners. While I am a self-confessed liberation-phile, at times I wonder if the term is too often used for the wrong purpose. A young friend of mine has been at the back of my mind for quite some time now. He actually is the reason why I began to write this.
The young lad (yes, I am ancient!) is in love with a girl. He is however also sexually inclined to men. He hasn't decided where he stands and is in a phase where he'd rather not. Considering myself an older and hence more wisened gay man, I decided to be there for him and help him liberate the real 'him'. The journey began a few months ago and I already feel like giving up.
Some people find comfort in confusion. They glow and flourish in the ensuing chaos enjoying every bit of their gleeful indecision. Maybe this young boy is like that and that's fine!
All that worries me is, if it will ever end? Will clarity ever be the goal or will he live in this comfortable duality forever.
Will the confused always affect the life of the 'clear'? Maybe, its time for a revolution, a revolution that guided people to find clarity in everything. Even if that doesn't happen, all I'm sure is that it is definitely time for me to say my goodbyes to the confused lot and this is something I am surely not confused about!
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