'Used to complain to my kids': R Ashwin on India's 'shattering' 0-3 loss to New Zealand at home

Indias senior offspinner R Ashwin has described the 03 whitewash in the Test series against New Zealand as shattering and took the blame for the unprecedented drubbing at homeThis is the first time India suffered a whitewash in a series comprising three or more Tests at home having gone unbeaten on their own turn for the last 12 yearsWe have been hit by a 30 loss by New Zealand I read somewhere that it has never happened in India Ashwin said on his YouTube channelI know that in my career and experience we do not have so many emotions when we play But it is a very shattering experience which is the right word I didnt know how to respond or react to it for the last two or three daysAshwin took responsibility for Indias poor performance in the series and acknowledged that his own belowpar performance has not helped the teams causeI expect a lot from myself I am a guy who says I am the reason for everything that went wrong I am also a big reason and a big part of it series lossI couldnt contribute to the lowerorder runs As a bowler I know that runs are a vital currency for a bowler I started well in many places then I threw it away on a couple of occasions I put my best but it wasnt enough Ashwin addedAlso Read R Ashwin goes all in on chess with a fan boy moment featuring Viswanathan AnandThe 38yearold seasoned campaigner hoped the team would be able to learn from the embarrassing series lossLosing is okay as nobody is invincible Our first mistake is to think we are invincible and I do not think like that After 20 days when we reflect we will have clarity he addedI expect closure and there should be a conclusion Only if there is a conclusion we would be able to learn from it There is no finish line as there is only a starting line for what you do nextAshwin managed just nine wickets in six innings at an average of 4122 and his best figures in the series read 363I kept asking myself questions and discussed a lot If I wanted to complain I used to complain to my kids I put my best out there but it wasnt enough I am a guy who says I am the reason for everything that went wrong and I am also a big reason and part of itI kept asking myself Why did I start well again and again and leave it hanging Where did we make a mistake Did we lose our mindsYou need to give a push When you bat you cannot keep taking the punchesEvery time when I pushed the momentum of the innings I just lost my wicket at the wrong time and at the wrong juncture feel very bad about itAshwin pointed out what worked for New Zealand and praised the Kiwis for their superb displayNew Zealand played some fantastic cricket At no stage in the series they bat out India but had enough runs on the board for their bowlers to stay in the game They defended well and there were no LBWs because of the speed of the pitch It eliminated the pitchThey didnt get hit in the legs They just protected the outside edge I think I couldnt exploit it I felt bad Ashwin saidWith agency inputs