I often wonder if I should be insecure about having a conversation with my boyfriend when it comes to his past. I have had just two serious relationships before I met him, but he has been with almost seven women since college. I know this shouldn’t bother me much, but I keep wondering if there is something that makes it hard for him to commit to a long-term relationship. We have been together for almost a year now, and I have begun to question everything he says, looking for signs of boredom or if he is thinking of ending this. There are no obvious problems between us, but his past always plays on my mind and makes me question his commitment to me. I know this is unfair to him, but I can’t help it. What can I do to make it easier to handle?
You have acknowledged that this is unfair to him but aren’t making any concrete effort to act upon that act of unfairness. If his past bothers you, the easiest way to put it behind is to talk about it in the open. The women he has been with in relationships before shouldn’t have any bearing on how things stand between the two of you. Also, the question of a long-term relationship may have less to do with a fear of commitment and more with the comfort he feels. You haven’t been in many relationships before this, so what stops him from wondering if you aren’t as interested in being with a partner? These doubts can go both ways, and not talking about them only leads to misunderstandings. Tell him what’s bothering you and give him a chance to respond.

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