Should I reach out and ask him to clarify, or just drop this?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
A few months ago, I met this nice guy at a party, and we chatted for a while before exchanging numbers. We had multiple conversations over the following weeks, and I began to assume he was interested in me. When I asked him out a while later, he met me and then said that he wasn’t interested in a relationship. This was okay with me because I was happy we could clear that up without much of a fuss, so I asked if he would consider being friends instead. He said he thought I was a nice person, but that being friends was not an option either. We haven’t chatted since then, but I keep wondering if I did something wrong, because why would someone not even want to be friends with another person? Should I reach out and ask him to clarify, or just drop this?
It’s his prerogative to be friends with someone or not, just as it’s yours to choose who you want to let into your life. You don’t have to assume it’s a reflection on who you are, or a sign that you have said or done something wrong. If clarity is important to you, reach out, by all means, but keep in mind that he doesn’t owe you an explanation. Sometimes, it’s okay to just not want another person in one’s life. If he has been direct with you about how he feels, maybe you should consider accepting it and absolving yourself. He’s allowed to make that decision for himself.
Should I stay in touch with someone even though my partner has a problem with this? It’s an ex, so I see why it can be an issue, but I don’t want to cut out people just because my partner can’t handle it.
Your partner is communicating something that has implications for the well-being of your relationship. If it is an issue, ignoring it doesn’t solve the problem. Why not try understanding your partner’s perspective before making any decision?
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