If someone wants to write you off on the first date without giving you the benefit of doubt, ask yourself if you need this kind of validation
Illustration/Uday Mohite
Is it normal for someone to end a four-year relationship over a phone call? It’s as if my partner doesn’t even care enough about me to tell me this to my face. I am heartbroken, but also angry, because this is not what I expected. We have been going through a rough patch for over a year, and even went to couples therapy for a year, but nothing seemed to work. When we decided to take a break from the relationship a few months ago, I assumed we would get back to talk things through and then take a stand on what our situation was like. And then, out of the blue, I got the call saying that this wasn’t going to work out. I haven’t seen my partner since, and he doesn’t bother responding to messages. I don’t want him back in my life, but I would like some kind of closure, and the courtesy of a conversation in person. Is this too much to ask for? Should I just let it go and move on or am I causing potential harm to my mental health by insisting that he meet me?
You are already dealing with mental anguish, and the end of a relationship will cause you more pain in the weeks to come. Letting go of someone who doesn’t respect you enough is the best thing you can possibly do, at least until you’re strong enough to try and reach out for a conversation. Put yourself first for now, allow yourself time to heal, and then think about whether you still want to meet him.
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Do I contact someone again if I think we had fun on our date, but he didn’t? I think he just didn’t give me a chance to show him what I’m really like, because I was under the weather when we went out.
If someone wants to write you off on the first date without giving you the benefit of doubt, ask yourself if you need this kind of validation.
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