He is in love with me, but I’m not...

I really like this guy I go to college with, but don’t want to date him. He is sweet and kind but doesn’t have that charisma that makes me want to be romantically involved. He is completely in love with me though, and always goes out of his way to be nice and thoughtful, which makes me sad because it makes me feel like a shallow person. I want to like him but can’t get over the idea of wanting to be just friends. I have even gone on two dates just to see if my feelings change, but they haven’t. How do I tell him this without hurting his feelings? What should I do?
You should be honest, because that is the first foundation upon which any kind of relationship is built. If you don’t feel the same way he feels, there is nothing you can do to force it and he should be okay with understanding that. The sooner you tell him this, the easier it will be for you both to acknowledge that you can be friends and start working on that friendship. You can’t date someone just because you don’t want to hurt their feelings because that is being unfair to you both. If you like him and respect him enough, tell him about it and let him decide if he is adult enough to accept that rejection and choose friendship instead.

My husband says I don’t trust him, but this is only because I once caught him flirting with someone early on in our marriage. Nothing happened and he said he was drunk, but I have been wary since then. It has been five years since that incident, so he wants me to stop being suspicious. I don’t know how.
If it has been five years and nothing happened back then or since, you have to ask yourself how long you intend to hold on to that suspicion. If it isn’t helping your marriage, why exactly don’t you want to let it go?